Very, very excited about my next journey - leave Bangkok Saturday 29th September and fly directly to Kathmandu where I'll be joining a trekk/tour of a group of 15 for a month. Brooke and her sister Kylie are coming with me - should be brilliant!
The Nepal/Tibet journey is a classic route linking two of Asia’s most exotic cities ranks among the ultimate of all travel adventures. Travelling from the austere and beautiful, high Tibetan Plateau to the lush hill country and farming terraces of Nepal provides for some truly dramatic contrasts. This magnificent journey takes me within sight of towering peaks such as Mount Everest (eek!) and crosses five passes over 5,000 metres above sea level. The road from Lhasa is rugged and demanding, but it’s an adventure in itself as we'll pass through farming villages, nomad camps, ancient towns and visit monasteries with a rich religious heritage - all set in the sweeping and vast landscapes of the Roof of the World. Hurrah! Have wanted to go to Tibet since I watched 'The Golden Child' with Eddie Murphy - seriously, I'm not kidding. Will be chanting with Monks if I get the chance...that's assuming I'm not ill from the altitude...we'll be 5000 metres high and Everest is only 8k!!!
After two weeks in Tibet I then head back to Nepal for my next journey - from Kathmandu to India.
This is describes as one of the great, classic overland journeys. In Nepal we'll get a feeling that that we have taken a step back in time, as it is a country that is forever changing and yet in many ways remains the same. The people, history and culture all make profound impacts on travellers, but the country is also home to the majestic Himalaya – the highest mountains in the world. Even whilst trekking on the foothills, we encounter a mystical and almost spiritual feel about them. Crossing the border into India, we find the pace of life quickens yet the people are just as friendly and just as proud of their culture and their heritage. This short adventure gives us a taste and a feel for what is India’s heart and soul. We finish in Dehil.
I'm then heading north to meeting his Holiness the Dahli Lama - I've already been in contact with his office and have recieved a number of emails....I'm trying to arrange a meeting with him - imagine!! So excited. I already have the email addresses of two Monks so what's stopping me????
Friday, 28 September 2007
Thursday, 27 September 2007
Being judgemental.....
The one thing I've noticed since I started travelling is how cynical and judgemental I am. Actually if I'm honest I'm not at all surprised. I've always known it, have been told so but I've only really realised the sheer magnitude. Much of it is probably down to fear - aren't most things? I don't want to end up in a situation I can't handle or worse still on a missing persons list. So I'm pretty cautious of most people. But then I always have been so again, nothing new there.
Most people will be able to resonate with the fact that when you live in London you harden up massively. If a stranger approaches you you suspect he's about to rape you. After six or so years living in London I once gave a guy in my parents village the most filthy look I muster after he politely said 'good morning'. It was a natural reaction. He looked horrified and scuttled off!
So what's brought about this sudden concern when before I used to rate my filthy looks on a scale of one to ten as I walked to the tube in the mornings? Throughout my travels in Thailand and especially Cambodia, I've witnessed some really compassionate acts. One's where the giver hasn't 'benefited' in any other way other than to help someone. Perhaps it's the fact the majority of the population in both countries is Buddhist which heavily focuses on compassion. People are taught to give from a very early age - in the mornings the streets are filled with monks collecting alms. People young, old, rich or poor give food to the monks. It's an old tradition and one which reminds people of the benefits of giving.
Perhaps it's being in a third (or second) world country that I've realised how unfortunate others are and how important it is to help. More to the point I've met and seen people who really do have very little in terms of material objects. They struggle to feed their families, don't have central heating, running water. All the things I take for granted yet they always greet you with a smile on their faces and can't do enough for you. It's made me realise it's much easier and takes much less energy to be nice, friendly than it is to be annoyed and angry the whole time.
So what's surprised me the most on my travels is how ridged I've been in the past and recently. Admittedly we all make judgements - it's human nature and if we didn't we'd have no way of gaging people and situations. What I've noticed is how I've had to changed my judgements based on previous stereotypes. I've found myself in situations I would never have normally been in. For example I met this guy, from Cameron. He was great. Had so much fun with him and he was totally on my level. More so than any other guy I've ever met. He introduced me to his friends (all of which were incredibly welcoming), we went to an African restaurant (I was a minority), I ate with my fingers (obviously used my hand sanitiser first!!), danced all night and talked about many different things. I had a fantastic time. It was a real eye opener especially as culturally we really are worlds apart.
In fact I've had so many eye openers along my journey I've had to battle to keep my eye balls in their sockets!! A taxi driver in Bangkok got out of his car, brought some fruit and gave the lot to me. He insisted. Maybe I looked malnourished or ill!! The man in the post office who, while I was trying to tape up my package, grabbed the tape and did it for me - he didn't speak English, I don't speak Thai. He just did it, smiled and gave it back to me. How kind.
I met a girl on a bus in Cambodia. I heard her first. She annoyed me immediately. It was early in the morning and she was banging on about crap. I was literally rolling my eyes with annoyance. Decided to avoid her. Ended up chatting to her and she was lovely. Really open, nice, honest. What you see is what you get. Perfect. Ended up hanging out with her for a few days in Phnom Penh. We had a great laugh and I'll definitely keep in touch.
With most of these situations I was initially stand offish, over cautious (ie looking them up and down suspiciously), judgemental and cynical; what do they want? What are they after? Must be something dodgy. They irritate me so there's no way I'm speaking to them and/or giving them a chance. Each time I've been pleasantly surprised. So I've decided to take the plunge and go with the flow (massive deal to a control freak) and be open minded.
I'll keep you posted on my progress!
Most people will be able to resonate with the fact that when you live in London you harden up massively. If a stranger approaches you you suspect he's about to rape you. After six or so years living in London I once gave a guy in my parents village the most filthy look I muster after he politely said 'good morning'. It was a natural reaction. He looked horrified and scuttled off!
So what's brought about this sudden concern when before I used to rate my filthy looks on a scale of one to ten as I walked to the tube in the mornings? Throughout my travels in Thailand and especially Cambodia, I've witnessed some really compassionate acts. One's where the giver hasn't 'benefited' in any other way other than to help someone. Perhaps it's the fact the majority of the population in both countries is Buddhist which heavily focuses on compassion. People are taught to give from a very early age - in the mornings the streets are filled with monks collecting alms. People young, old, rich or poor give food to the monks. It's an old tradition and one which reminds people of the benefits of giving.
Perhaps it's being in a third (or second) world country that I've realised how unfortunate others are and how important it is to help. More to the point I've met and seen people who really do have very little in terms of material objects. They struggle to feed their families, don't have central heating, running water. All the things I take for granted yet they always greet you with a smile on their faces and can't do enough for you. It's made me realise it's much easier and takes much less energy to be nice, friendly than it is to be annoyed and angry the whole time.
So what's surprised me the most on my travels is how ridged I've been in the past and recently. Admittedly we all make judgements - it's human nature and if we didn't we'd have no way of gaging people and situations. What I've noticed is how I've had to changed my judgements based on previous stereotypes. I've found myself in situations I would never have normally been in. For example I met this guy, from Cameron. He was great. Had so much fun with him and he was totally on my level. More so than any other guy I've ever met. He introduced me to his friends (all of which were incredibly welcoming), we went to an African restaurant (I was a minority), I ate with my fingers (obviously used my hand sanitiser first!!), danced all night and talked about many different things. I had a fantastic time. It was a real eye opener especially as culturally we really are worlds apart.
In fact I've had so many eye openers along my journey I've had to battle to keep my eye balls in their sockets!! A taxi driver in Bangkok got out of his car, brought some fruit and gave the lot to me. He insisted. Maybe I looked malnourished or ill!! The man in the post office who, while I was trying to tape up my package, grabbed the tape and did it for me - he didn't speak English, I don't speak Thai. He just did it, smiled and gave it back to me. How kind.
I met a girl on a bus in Cambodia. I heard her first. She annoyed me immediately. It was early in the morning and she was banging on about crap. I was literally rolling my eyes with annoyance. Decided to avoid her. Ended up chatting to her and she was lovely. Really open, nice, honest. What you see is what you get. Perfect. Ended up hanging out with her for a few days in Phnom Penh. We had a great laugh and I'll definitely keep in touch.
With most of these situations I was initially stand offish, over cautious (ie looking them up and down suspiciously), judgemental and cynical; what do they want? What are they after? Must be something dodgy. They irritate me so there's no way I'm speaking to them and/or giving them a chance. Each time I've been pleasantly surprised. So I've decided to take the plunge and go with the flow (massive deal to a control freak) and be open minded.
I'll keep you posted on my progress!
Ripping off the band aid
When I was 'poked' on facebook by three of my ex boyfriends, I knew my decision to go travelling was definately the right one. I also had a feeling getting away from it all would give me the opportunity to really clear my head.
My love life has been....well let's just say colourful and leave it at that - some may even say eventful. Some of the characters have certainly provided much entertainment, for reasons they probably wouldn't be so proud of, over the years! Classic example is a guy I dared to invite back to my parents house for Boxing Day lunch. He ended up mainlining beer, I suspect trying to prove to my Dad he could hold his booze (he couldn't), and after one hour was slumped over the breakfast room table with a serviette in his hand trying to polish a crome pepper pot. I'm reminded of that little experince each Christmas!!
Rather unexpectedly the last couple of months have given me the chance to review the various characters I've had the pleasure of meeting over the years. Some good, some not so good, some I would cross the road to avoid. It got me thinking about how many situations I've stayed in (with guys) mainly because it's easier to stay and/or I've been in a bubble - although I've known their wholey, in fact massively wrong for me, I've carried on regardless.
Similar situation cropped up just before I left. The guy in questions was, on many levels great in my opinion. In fact I'd even go so far as to say he's the only guy I've ever really gelled with to date. Only draw back? There were many. Different point of reference, his lack of drive, pretty weak willed...just things that when you added them up it meant it could never work.
I knew this from day one but figuted that there was no harm in continuing the relationship as I was leaving. I had a 'get out of jail' card.
The thing is the more time you spend with someone inevitably the more attached you become. Before I knew it I was fully embroiled in his 'problems' of which there were many. I was of course happy to help but there comes a time when you have to just walk away. People have to help themselves and besides there's only so much you can do at the end of the day. I was completely there for him but it wasn't reciprocated. I knew this the whole time. Why did I stay? It was comfortable, easy, my friends were coupled up, we'd grown really close and it was someone to look forward to seeing after another crap day in a job which depressed me.
Leaving was hard and his reaction was surprising. It was very emotional. But I knew I had to go and above all I wanted to. There was no way I was staying though and I knew that with distance and perspective I would think differently. I wouldn't be constantly pulled back into the situation. It's hard to say no sometimes and I think if I'm honest this has been the case with many of guys I've spent time with. They were okay but to be honest witha a lot of them, I was passing time. I figured that it wasn't quite right but it was okay for the moment. Then I got attached.
Anyway, I'm a firm believer that actions speak much louder than words. So after all the talk 'I'll do this, do that' blah, I've had a few pissed up calls and one email. I'm not surprised. I'm actually relieved. It confirmed what I'd always thought. I'm just glad I took myself out of the situation, got some perspective.
So when he last called and spoke about himself for the first 10 minutes before asking me how I was I didn't hesitate to pretend it was a bad line and end the call. So when I arrived back in Thailand, having been in Cambodia for a month and met a lovely bloke in that time, and switched on my phone only to receive a text message from him I didn't respond. I just smiled and deleted the message, along with his number.
Incidentally I deleted all the pokes long before - some band aids are much easier to rip off than others!!
My love life has been....well let's just say colourful and leave it at that - some may even say eventful. Some of the characters have certainly provided much entertainment, for reasons they probably wouldn't be so proud of, over the years! Classic example is a guy I dared to invite back to my parents house for Boxing Day lunch. He ended up mainlining beer, I suspect trying to prove to my Dad he could hold his booze (he couldn't), and after one hour was slumped over the breakfast room table with a serviette in his hand trying to polish a crome pepper pot. I'm reminded of that little experince each Christmas!!
Rather unexpectedly the last couple of months have given me the chance to review the various characters I've had the pleasure of meeting over the years. Some good, some not so good, some I would cross the road to avoid. It got me thinking about how many situations I've stayed in (with guys) mainly because it's easier to stay and/or I've been in a bubble - although I've known their wholey, in fact massively wrong for me, I've carried on regardless.
Similar situation cropped up just before I left. The guy in questions was, on many levels great in my opinion. In fact I'd even go so far as to say he's the only guy I've ever really gelled with to date. Only draw back? There were many. Different point of reference, his lack of drive, pretty weak willed...just things that when you added them up it meant it could never work.
I knew this from day one but figuted that there was no harm in continuing the relationship as I was leaving. I had a 'get out of jail' card.
The thing is the more time you spend with someone inevitably the more attached you become. Before I knew it I was fully embroiled in his 'problems' of which there were many. I was of course happy to help but there comes a time when you have to just walk away. People have to help themselves and besides there's only so much you can do at the end of the day. I was completely there for him but it wasn't reciprocated. I knew this the whole time. Why did I stay? It was comfortable, easy, my friends were coupled up, we'd grown really close and it was someone to look forward to seeing after another crap day in a job which depressed me.
Leaving was hard and his reaction was surprising. It was very emotional. But I knew I had to go and above all I wanted to. There was no way I was staying though and I knew that with distance and perspective I would think differently. I wouldn't be constantly pulled back into the situation. It's hard to say no sometimes and I think if I'm honest this has been the case with many of guys I've spent time with. They were okay but to be honest witha a lot of them, I was passing time. I figured that it wasn't quite right but it was okay for the moment. Then I got attached.
Anyway, I'm a firm believer that actions speak much louder than words. So after all the talk 'I'll do this, do that' blah, I've had a few pissed up calls and one email. I'm not surprised. I'm actually relieved. It confirmed what I'd always thought. I'm just glad I took myself out of the situation, got some perspective.
So when he last called and spoke about himself for the first 10 minutes before asking me how I was I didn't hesitate to pretend it was a bad line and end the call. So when I arrived back in Thailand, having been in Cambodia for a month and met a lovely bloke in that time, and switched on my phone only to receive a text message from him I didn't respond. I just smiled and deleted the message, along with his number.
Incidentally I deleted all the pokes long before - some band aids are much easier to rip off than others!!
Tuesday, 18 September 2007
Angkor Wat?
I wasn't too sure what to expect of Angkor Wat. I'd heard varying reports from other travellers in terms of how long to spend there; from a morning, to two days to a week so it was pretty hard to work out exactly how much time to spend there.
I knew a little bit about it. It's one of the seven wonders of the world so obviously a must-see. The temples of Angkor, capital of Cambodia's ancient Khmer empire, is a combination of awesome architecture and spiritual devotion. Each Cambodian god-king strove to better their ancestors in size, scale and symmetry which resulted in the world's largest religious building - Angkor Wat and one of thee world's strangest - the Bayon.
I think the Angkorian period spanned for more than 600 years or so...from AD 802 to 1432. So it's pretty amazing these temples are still standing (in various states) considering the years of terror, poverty and war Cambodia has suffered. At it's height the empire stretched from Burma to Vietnam, a city that boasted a population of one million when London was a 'tiny' town of 50,000.
Today the temples are a point of pilgrimage for all Cambodians - it was amazing to see the sheer number of locals sitting around the moat of Angkor Wat, praying at various enormous Buddha statues around the temples. Now I can appreciate architecture and I like nothing more than embracing a history and culture but I'm not one for staring at engravings for hours on end. I like to get in there, appreciate, take it all in then leave. Thankfully Brooke and Brett were of the same opinion so we decided on spending a day there.
We decided to watch the sun rise over Angkor Wat. What a way to spend a Monday morning. The fact I wasn't spending another Monday morning dragging myself (kicking and screaming) to work, to deal with pressing issues like how much coverage can we generate on another bottle of shampoo or even better, a review on a previous campaign, or a personal favorite another ridiculous demand from a client such as 'can you find out how much it will cost for Kylie Minogue to perform at our party...the budget is 10k'. So waking up at 430am after 3 hrs sleep was a very small price to pay.
Rater, friend of Mr Banana and a fellow tuk tuk driver was our man for the day. We boomed around (literally) from temple to temple and timed each visit to perfection. It wasn't too busy. The sun rise over Angkor Wat was amazing. The temple itself was incredible. I literally stood there in awe as the sun rose, the temple reflecting the lake before it and a guy constantly asking if I wanted a coffee (back to reality). I like coffee plus I was knackered to I welcomed his offer!!
Ta Prohm was next. It's a fabulous ruin and the original Tomb Raider temple. It was definitely the most atmospheric ruin at Angkor and has been left to be swallowed by the jungle. It's stunning. The temple is cloaked in shadows, its crumbling walls and towers a embraced by various roots. A local man who was one of the caretakers of the temple showed us around. One of the most jaw dropping moments for me was when he took us into a small chamber and started thumped repeatedly on the left hand side of his chest. It echoed. He then thumped other areas of his chest and there was no echo at all. It was amazing. He said it had been designed purposefully so that it only echoed when you thumped your heart area, nowhere else.
Other highlights included the Terrace of Elephants and one of my personal favs The Bayon which boasts over 200 giant faces with enigmatic smiles. It was fabulous and truly beautiful in the shadows of the afternoon. Preah Khan was great in terms of its sheer size. Watching the sun st over Phnom Bakheng with a million other Chinese and Korean tourists was pretty amusing too. I also managed to overcome my fear of heights (slightly) and climbed to the top of the temple. Frankly it was mainly because I'd hiked up the side of a mountain to get the top, there was no way having got there I was going to miss out on the view because of a few narrow and very steep steps!! Thankfully I didn't freeze on the way down - big pat on the back for that one!!
I knew a little bit about it. It's one of the seven wonders of the world so obviously a must-see. The temples of Angkor, capital of Cambodia's ancient Khmer empire, is a combination of awesome architecture and spiritual devotion. Each Cambodian god-king strove to better their ancestors in size, scale and symmetry which resulted in the world's largest religious building - Angkor Wat and one of thee world's strangest - the Bayon.
I think the Angkorian period spanned for more than 600 years or so...from AD 802 to 1432. So it's pretty amazing these temples are still standing (in various states) considering the years of terror, poverty and war Cambodia has suffered. At it's height the empire stretched from Burma to Vietnam, a city that boasted a population of one million when London was a 'tiny' town of 50,000.
Today the temples are a point of pilgrimage for all Cambodians - it was amazing to see the sheer number of locals sitting around the moat of Angkor Wat, praying at various enormous Buddha statues around the temples. Now I can appreciate architecture and I like nothing more than embracing a history and culture but I'm not one for staring at engravings for hours on end. I like to get in there, appreciate, take it all in then leave. Thankfully Brooke and Brett were of the same opinion so we decided on spending a day there.
We decided to watch the sun rise over Angkor Wat. What a way to spend a Monday morning. The fact I wasn't spending another Monday morning dragging myself (kicking and screaming) to work, to deal with pressing issues like how much coverage can we generate on another bottle of shampoo or even better, a review on a previous campaign, or a personal favorite another ridiculous demand from a client such as 'can you find out how much it will cost for Kylie Minogue to perform at our party...the budget is 10k'. So waking up at 430am after 3 hrs sleep was a very small price to pay.
Rater, friend of Mr Banana and a fellow tuk tuk driver was our man for the day. We boomed around (literally) from temple to temple and timed each visit to perfection. It wasn't too busy. The sun rise over Angkor Wat was amazing. The temple itself was incredible. I literally stood there in awe as the sun rose, the temple reflecting the lake before it and a guy constantly asking if I wanted a coffee (back to reality). I like coffee plus I was knackered to I welcomed his offer!!
Ta Prohm was next. It's a fabulous ruin and the original Tomb Raider temple. It was definitely the most atmospheric ruin at Angkor and has been left to be swallowed by the jungle. It's stunning. The temple is cloaked in shadows, its crumbling walls and towers a embraced by various roots. A local man who was one of the caretakers of the temple showed us around. One of the most jaw dropping moments for me was when he took us into a small chamber and started thumped repeatedly on the left hand side of his chest. It echoed. He then thumped other areas of his chest and there was no echo at all. It was amazing. He said it had been designed purposefully so that it only echoed when you thumped your heart area, nowhere else.
Other highlights included the Terrace of Elephants and one of my personal favs The Bayon which boasts over 200 giant faces with enigmatic smiles. It was fabulous and truly beautiful in the shadows of the afternoon. Preah Khan was great in terms of its sheer size. Watching the sun st over Phnom Bakheng with a million other Chinese and Korean tourists was pretty amusing too. I also managed to overcome my fear of heights (slightly) and climbed to the top of the temple. Frankly it was mainly because I'd hiked up the side of a mountain to get the top, there was no way having got there I was going to miss out on the view because of a few narrow and very steep steps!! Thankfully I didn't freeze on the way down - big pat on the back for that one!!
Monday, 17 September 2007
What kind of man....the categories
Over the past couple of months I've been fortunate to witness some fantastic sights. Some have been appreciated, some haven't. Many of them jaw dropping....some for the wrong reasons. One of the many sights I've become only to familiar with in Thailand and to a certain extent in Cambodia, is the sheer number of Western men with South East Asian women.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm a firm believer of each to their own. Everyone has there own tastes and that's the way it should be - something for everyone. I don't have a problem with that. It's just I can't help but wonder what it's all about. You shouldn't judge on looks alone but I have to admit it really makes my skin crawl when you see a 65 plus, overweight man with mottled skin, a gold chain and comb over wich a 20 year-old size 0 girl.
The sex trade in Thailand is no big secret. It's rife. Many of the women are prostitutes, forced into the sex trade to feed their families and or seek a better lifestyle as there own is too unbearable. Some simply prefer to earn a living this way. One guy I was with was told this girl fancied him, he was naturally flattered until he was told he'd have to pay the princely sum of 1,000 bhat...that's about a tenner for her time. On the other hand some women aren't prostitutes as such - they are just seeking a lifestyle which could only be achieved with a 'wealthy' Western man.
So you could say that they offer a service which there is a market for. It's fair and square and there's nothing wrong with it. Prostitution is probably the oldest profession in the world. Of course there isn't anything wrong with it as such but then again if it was so great we'd all be encouraging our daughters, sisters, friends to graduate into the profession. Most of the men I know are more than fine with it until you ask them if they'd like their sister/daughter/neice to experince the same and they soon start stuttering.
The thing is that personally I can't help but feel pity for the tiny, young Thai woman who is sitting across from a man old enough to be her grandfather and who has the face only a mother could love. Add to the fact she's drinking water so is stone cold sober. Well, you can't really help but feel pity.
Obviously not all South East Asian women with Western men are prostitutes. Perhaps there is an agreement of sorts. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours - sorry, couldn't resist!
We're all familiar with Thai brides, groups of guys who head to Thailand for a sex fest, the loners who are really just seeking some company, preferably from a pretty woman who won't give them any back chat. I know a few men who'd like the sound of that!! And if you have to part with 15 quid along they way then...well, I'm sure it's justified by the fact it's the equivalent to buying a a few drinks in the pub (depending on where you drink) and you're guaranteed she puts out at the end of it! Some of course are genuinely in love and that's fantastic.
A few evenings have been spent with various travellers I've met along the way, debating the whole western man with South East Asian women scenario. Is it fair on the women? Is it unfair on the men? Who's the loser - if you want to put it like that. Are there particular types of men who and can you put them into categories. Of course! There have been many differences of opinion as I'm sure you can imagine. In general though most think it's far from ideal given the fact many of the women wouldn't be with the guys if she had a choice. The thing is we call have choices. It's just that often we don't like the choices we have.
Now I'm not naive enough to think I can change things. However if I'm constantly being confronted with a huge number of Western men with South East Asian woman then I'm going to have to make sense of it some how. The easiest way for me is with some humour. So I've devised four key categories. These have been discussed at length with various friends (male and female) and refined along the way. And if I do say so myself, I think they're pretty spot on!
Category 1: the divorcee:
A personal favorite of mine in terms of value - they get really uncomfortable if you stare at them which of course I love to do...if nothing else I'm puzzled as to why they think combing over two strands of hair hides their bald head.
This species is easily identifyable, usually with dyed auburn coloured hair to hide the grey hair when introduced to the woman's village family. 8 out of 10 sport a comb over 'hair style' which usual amounts to two or three strands of hair, geled and combed over the skull. Hides a multitude of sins don't you know!!
Normally dressed from head to toe in one colour (either light blue of beige), usually cotton short sleeved shirt and trousers with alarming footwear. Being a shoe lover, the footwear bothers me the most. It can range from black or brown leather slip-ons or sandals....with matching socks.
The divorcee is tired of women from his country and/or 20 years younger than him. He thinks women within this age range expect to much, they are too opinionated. Frankly too much like hard work. He's after someone who's attractive, who will look after him, won't question his tactics and sexula prowness (assuming he has any) in bed and generally will agree with what he says...this is mainly due to the language barrier as she can't really understand what he's saying or if she does, she doesn't have the vocab to reply!
The bonus for the South East Western woman is that he offers a nice lifestyle and she doesn't have to engage in too much conversation. A simple nod or yes will suffice.
Category 2: In love:
Young or old it can happen to anyone if you're lucky. You can spot it a mile off and it's lovely to see.
Category 3: The Loaner:
This guy rarely pulls women in his home town. He needs to go abroad and pay for it to get a look in with a pretty girl. He's in awe of his mates who get to go home with attractive women so naturally enjoys the kudos of 'pulling' a good looking girl abroad.
The girl usually look a bit pained or bored as they listen to him waffle on about himself. The Loaner usually wears a logo tee with light faded jeans and trainer. He tends to walk the streets hand in hand with said woman with a massive grin on his face. Fair enough!
Category 4: The Hedonist:
Basically a bit of sex pest. No age or looks category here - men who fall into this category are out to satisfy as many of the sexual perverse fantasies as possible. Have been known to get quite violent. Tend to treat the woman with contempt or on the flip side are just thankful someone has finally allowed them to act out their greatest and potentially sickest fantasy.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm a firm believer of each to their own. Everyone has there own tastes and that's the way it should be - something for everyone. I don't have a problem with that. It's just I can't help but wonder what it's all about. You shouldn't judge on looks alone but I have to admit it really makes my skin crawl when you see a 65 plus, overweight man with mottled skin, a gold chain and comb over wich a 20 year-old size 0 girl.
The sex trade in Thailand is no big secret. It's rife. Many of the women are prostitutes, forced into the sex trade to feed their families and or seek a better lifestyle as there own is too unbearable. Some simply prefer to earn a living this way. One guy I was with was told this girl fancied him, he was naturally flattered until he was told he'd have to pay the princely sum of 1,000 bhat...that's about a tenner for her time. On the other hand some women aren't prostitutes as such - they are just seeking a lifestyle which could only be achieved with a 'wealthy' Western man.
So you could say that they offer a service which there is a market for. It's fair and square and there's nothing wrong with it. Prostitution is probably the oldest profession in the world. Of course there isn't anything wrong with it as such but then again if it was so great we'd all be encouraging our daughters, sisters, friends to graduate into the profession. Most of the men I know are more than fine with it until you ask them if they'd like their sister/daughter/neice to experince the same and they soon start stuttering.
The thing is that personally I can't help but feel pity for the tiny, young Thai woman who is sitting across from a man old enough to be her grandfather and who has the face only a mother could love. Add to the fact she's drinking water so is stone cold sober. Well, you can't really help but feel pity.
Obviously not all South East Asian women with Western men are prostitutes. Perhaps there is an agreement of sorts. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours - sorry, couldn't resist!
We're all familiar with Thai brides, groups of guys who head to Thailand for a sex fest, the loners who are really just seeking some company, preferably from a pretty woman who won't give them any back chat. I know a few men who'd like the sound of that!! And if you have to part with 15 quid along they way then...well, I'm sure it's justified by the fact it's the equivalent to buying a a few drinks in the pub (depending on where you drink) and you're guaranteed she puts out at the end of it! Some of course are genuinely in love and that's fantastic.
A few evenings have been spent with various travellers I've met along the way, debating the whole western man with South East Asian women scenario. Is it fair on the women? Is it unfair on the men? Who's the loser - if you want to put it like that. Are there particular types of men who and can you put them into categories. Of course! There have been many differences of opinion as I'm sure you can imagine. In general though most think it's far from ideal given the fact many of the women wouldn't be with the guys if she had a choice. The thing is we call have choices. It's just that often we don't like the choices we have.
Now I'm not naive enough to think I can change things. However if I'm constantly being confronted with a huge number of Western men with South East Asian woman then I'm going to have to make sense of it some how. The easiest way for me is with some humour. So I've devised four key categories. These have been discussed at length with various friends (male and female) and refined along the way. And if I do say so myself, I think they're pretty spot on!
Category 1: the divorcee:
A personal favorite of mine in terms of value - they get really uncomfortable if you stare at them which of course I love to do...if nothing else I'm puzzled as to why they think combing over two strands of hair hides their bald head.
This species is easily identifyable, usually with dyed auburn coloured hair to hide the grey hair when introduced to the woman's village family. 8 out of 10 sport a comb over 'hair style' which usual amounts to two or three strands of hair, geled and combed over the skull. Hides a multitude of sins don't you know!!
Normally dressed from head to toe in one colour (either light blue of beige), usually cotton short sleeved shirt and trousers with alarming footwear. Being a shoe lover, the footwear bothers me the most. It can range from black or brown leather slip-ons or sandals....with matching socks.
The divorcee is tired of women from his country and/or 20 years younger than him. He thinks women within this age range expect to much, they are too opinionated. Frankly too much like hard work. He's after someone who's attractive, who will look after him, won't question his tactics and sexula prowness (assuming he has any) in bed and generally will agree with what he says...this is mainly due to the language barrier as she can't really understand what he's saying or if she does, she doesn't have the vocab to reply!
The bonus for the South East Western woman is that he offers a nice lifestyle and she doesn't have to engage in too much conversation. A simple nod or yes will suffice.
Category 2: In love:
Young or old it can happen to anyone if you're lucky. You can spot it a mile off and it's lovely to see.
Category 3: The Loaner:
This guy rarely pulls women in his home town. He needs to go abroad and pay for it to get a look in with a pretty girl. He's in awe of his mates who get to go home with attractive women so naturally enjoys the kudos of 'pulling' a good looking girl abroad.
The girl usually look a bit pained or bored as they listen to him waffle on about himself. The Loaner usually wears a logo tee with light faded jeans and trainer. He tends to walk the streets hand in hand with said woman with a massive grin on his face. Fair enough!
Category 4: The Hedonist:
Basically a bit of sex pest. No age or looks category here - men who fall into this category are out to satisfy as many of the sexual perverse fantasies as possible. Have been known to get quite violent. Tend to treat the woman with contempt or on the flip side are just thankful someone has finally allowed them to act out their greatest and potentially sickest fantasy.
Visiting the orphans in Phnom Penh
I heard about The New Cambodian Children's Life Association in Phnom Penh from two other travellers I met in Sihnoukville. They recommended it as they had also visited it a few days earlier and said it was really well run, the children were happy plus it was a privately funded orphanage which doesn't tend to get the same amount of exposure as the govt run organisations.
The NCCL provides poor and orphaned children with a safe place to live. They receive food, clothes, medicine and an education. The majority of funding comes from a non-profit Veiyo Tonie restaurant owned by Neth as his wife. I think they set it up 3 or 4 years ago.
I called up before to ask if it was OK to pop in, see the children etc. We arrived at the restaurant on the river front in Phnom Penh and we walked round the corner by the restaurant manager, Lay, to where the orphanage.
Around 20 or so children live at the orphanage which is essentially a large town house. It's cool and airy, the walls are bright and colourful with various paintings from the children and photos of trips to the country side, water parks etc. Basically it wasn't at all how I'd imagined it - it wasn't dark, gloomy, dirty and definitely didn't have a air of sadness as I'd originally thought.
After being shown around I then felt my hand being tugged and I looked down to see a little girl (Sarisha) of about 8 or 9 grabbing my hand and leading me to the picture board. In between her broken English and my pigeon Khmer she pointed as the pics of her and showed me around the orphanage and to her room which she shared with the other 6 girls at the orphanage.
The girls, ranging from 7-14, were really pleased to see Brooke and I and were only too happy to involve us in some of their games. I was pretty crap - try throwing a ball in the air and while it's in mid air picking up 5 pens from the floor - they round it hilarious and showed pride in demonstrating to me exactly how it should be done!
One of the girls had some nail varnish so I stuck to what I knew best and decided to share the love of painting nails. Definitely a bonding experience - I knew the hours and hours spent having mani's and pedi's would eventually pay off in a good way!
It seems it doesn't matter which nationality you speak too. At the end of the day children are children. So it was quite funny when Brett walked in to the girls room to see what all the noise was about. The girls found it hilarious when Brooke and I told him to get out and made 'er' noises as he was a boy - they loved it and all joined in esp when another boy came into the room with him! Some things are definitely universal!
It's funny how you can see immediately the pecking order. One leads, the other is a joker etc and naturally one has the mickey taken out of the them a bit more than the others.
One girl in particular was really quite and very shy. The others gently mocked her when we asked her name mainly I think because she was really shy. She sat in the corner with her face covered for the first 15 mins we were there. She didn't want to get involved in any of the games we played or chat - in fact she just pottered around us quietly as we spoke to the other girls. I later learnt that both her parents had passed away from an aids related disease and she'd lost her brother and sister to landmines. Back at the restaurant they have mini biogs on each child with some quotes from them. On her biog she said how much she liked living at the orphanage as she has regular meals and she's pleased as the others let her have her quiet time to herself. Pretty sobering.
Most the children there had either lost their parents to an Aids related disease or a landmine or perhaps worse (if you want to look at it that way) their parents just simply couldn't afford to look after them anymore. I'm struggling to work out which would have the most detrimental effect on a child. I mean obviously both situs are horrendous for anyone let alone a young child. To lose your parents is one thing but to have to leave them because they can't afford to feed or cloth you....that must be heart rendering too. Knowing they're out there but not being able to live with them. Luckily for me it's unimaginable. It's dreadful to think someone so young has to suffer to much. I imagine it totally robs them of any childhood as we would know it.
What I really liked about the orphanage is that it completely changed my opinion of them. I initially thought it would be a place of sadness, dark, gloomy. It was quite the reverse and most importantly the children seemed really happy and content.
All the proceeds from the restaurant go to funding the orphanage. All donations in the form of clothes, vegetables and rice are really welcome. Considering $25 will buy you a massive bag of high quality rice, which feeds the children for 2 weeks, it's incredible 12 quid (that's what I would usually pay for for 2 cocktails) can help so much.
The highlight of the children's week is that each Saturday evening they get to dress up and perform a traditional Khmer dance - I'm heading back to Phnom Penh to catch a flight back to Bangers before I fly to Kathmandu - I'm under strict instructions from the children to come along. To be honest I can't think of a better way to spend my Saturday evening!
Saturday, 15 September 2007
Loving Phnom Penh
I wasn't quite too sure what to expect from Phnom Penh. I'd heard so many mixed reviews. First thing I was told was to hold onto my bag - tightly. It's not the kind of place where you wander down the road with your mobile attached to your ear. The begging is out of control but then that's to be expected in a capital city. I suppose I'd liken Phnom Penh to Brixton at night. Fine but you have to keep your whits about you.
Nothing quite prepares you for the reception you get when you arrive at the bus station. As soon as the bus pulled up the tuk tuk drivers started banging the sides of the coach and hard. There were about 100 tuk tuk drivers waiting to catch your attention to persuad you to go with them and/or staying at a particular guest house. It was a glimps into what it's like to be a celeb...a nightmare!!
I liked Phnom Penh though. Tons to do, pretty hectic but that was a nice change compared to peaceful Sihanoukville. We decided to 'treat' outselves and opted for an air con room, hot water and satalite tv. We stayed at Okay Guesthouse which was okay oddly enough. For 12$ you get all the mod cons. Words can't describe how happy I was when as Ashton Kushcher film came on followed by the 'wedding crashers' oh how I love Vince. It was bliss.
Vindy put us in touch with Mr Banana who was our guide/driver for the 3 days we were there. He was fabulous. Totally looked after us showed us all the sights and stopped Snowy from going home with a Thai prossie (who was pretending not to be) when he was half cut. A saviour then really!!
PP is where you get a true sense of the attrocoties the Cambodians have been through during Pol Pots reign. The images of all the poor people displayed at the Genocide Museum (where they'd take anyone who was deemed intelligent and torcher them virtually to death, if they were lucky) will stay with me forever. It's unbelievable that so many attrosoties happened so recently. No one knew about it until much, much later as journalists were all killed. No one was spared - men, women, children all horrifically treated.
The killing fields was sobering to say the least. There was a tree where they Khmers would thrash babies against to kill them. Mass graves of up to 800 people. As you walked through the area you could see clothes and bones which were just beneath the earths surface. Grim.
So there I was standing just above a mass grave, contemplating the attrocities that had taken place. When I look up and this guy is starring at me and smiling. Totally out of context I then realise it's a guy I met in Chiang Mai. You could say our eyes met across a mass grave. You could also say that 5 mins later we're arranging to meet for a drink yards away from a mass grave. Slightly unusual to say the least. It felt pretty strange so I consoled myself with the fact that we were embracing the new Cambodian spirit; life goes on....ahem.
Dates and mass graves aside I had some great nights out in PP - Forigen Correspondent Club with great views of the river was brilliant. Fabulous cranberry mojitos. Heart of Darkness was a club which as pitched to me as 'really quite rough' so naturally I had to go there. Rough it wasn't. Pick up joint it was. Reminded me of the Dog star in Brixton. Hilarious. Stumbled out of there a few times.
PP was were I dicovered Boom Boom Room - a life saving place where you can update your Ipod with the latest albums and movies. God, I was in heaven. Various must-haves including Marc Ronson, Barry White, Blondie, Timbaland etc plus movies including Goodfellers and Love Actually (didn't have how to lose a guy in 10 days or the godfather) were uploaded for a small price. I LOVVE TECHNOLOGY. and the fact I have two of my fav films loaded onto my Ipod makes the long bus journeys barable. That and a couple of vallium!!
I'm coming back to PP in a few days when Brooke and I fly back to Bangkok. We're going to Raffles for a few cocktails, FCC club again and I dare say a visit to the Heart of Darkness will be on the agenda too.
In the meantime we're heading to Siem Reap for Angkor Wat action and Battambong.
Heart of Darkness
FFC
Killing fields
Genocide museum
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