A realisation is a funny thing - it can be satisfying, thought provoking or sometimes really irritating. I've had a few realisations about myself since I have' been in India and this one I'm not particularly pleased about.
I decided to take my Reiki Masters course while I was in Varkala - yes, I've been studying. It may come as a shock but it's true - I am not just sunning myself on the beach or chatting with friends - although I must admit that does take up a significant amount of my time. No, I've been learning a new skill, adding another string to my bow, stretching my mind, which is all rather well and good except I didn't bank on uncovering yet another realisation about myself.
You see I was under the impression that I'd learnt enough last time I went away. Indeed it would even appear my 'discovery journey' continued when I returned to the UK. It's pretty tiring all this 'looking inwards' especially when what you see isn't quite what you'd been telling yourself.
I'll give you an example: I can't drink, it leads to a a whole host of nonsense (mainly in my head) which I've decided I can no longer deal with. That's one realisation. Another is that no matter how many pairs I try on Gold Ray Band Aviator sun glasses do not suit me. I'm gutted. Mainly cause this realisation shocked me so much I had to purchase a pair of Oliver Peoples sunglasses at triple my original budget. Realisations can be expensive lessons. My realisation about the baggage in my life causes me extra expense too.
Take my rucksack for example. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to pack the thing correctly without it feeling like I have a dead person on my back. I even left what looked like half a ton of clothes, toiletries and books at my friend Joanne's house when I left Varkala for Patnem. Still didn't make a difference - on arrival in Goa I waddled off the train and rather than take a bus the weight of my rucksack meant I had to take a taxi. When I arrived in Patnem, the sun beating down on my weary forehead and the weight of what now seemed like several dead people on my back, I had no choice but check in to a 'luxury' hut rather than walk up and down the beach searching for a cheaper option.
It appears the excess baggage in my life doesn't just apply to my rucksack. No. You see part of my Reiki is essentially about energy. Universal Life Energy. The energy is used for healing all sorts of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual disabilities. Emotions are energy too so if you have an unprocessed emotion which many of us do, the energy stays in your body.The location of the toxic energy is determined by the type of emotion. So grief and anger can result in problems with the shoulders, resentment and bitterness affects the lungs, judgement and criticism affects the teeth and gums and the list goes on.
All rather fascinating indeed but naturally when one is learning you look to yourself to determine what aliments you have which may need attention. My hips have always been stiff. They are the bain of my yoga practice - stiff hips. I have to work on them on a daily basis and it's pretty painful. So you can imagine my horror when I discovered the reason for my stiffness. My ex boyfriends.
Yep, it would appear that you hold your past relationships in your hip area. It explains a lot. Previous boyfriends have mostly been undesirables now it appears I have all of them in my hips. I've been spending the last week trying to 'remove' Gary, Kevin, Warren, Nick and those are just the relationships. God only knows how many other flings/dalliances/mistakes I have tucked up in there.
So you see I have more baggage than I originally thought.
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