Toilet Traumas

This isn't the nicest thing I've had to post on my blog but I feel it's my duty to share the traumas I've been facing on a daily basis since arriving in Tibet. If you're reading this while eating then please don't. You may regret it.

I'd heard on the grapevine about the toilet situation in Asia. China had in fact been mentioned a number of times as having the worst loos on earth. I sympathised and quickly reassured myself that I didn't have to worry too much about it because I wasn't travelling to China. Of course I'd completely forgotten that Tibet is now part of the Republic of China. I soon remembered when I experienced what I can only refer to as a trauma. A trauma beyond all traumas and one I don't think I'll ever forget.

Now, I don't want to get on my high horse and maybe I am naive but one would assume that when you enter the country controlled by a 'superpower' sanitation wouldn't be a problem. Wrong.

Firstly let me get one thing straight. Tibet is an amazing country. I cannot begin to tell you how utterly amazed I have been by the sights and people; culturally it's by far the most inspiring and interesting country I've ever visited. I will save my rant on how Tibet has benefited from the Chinese taking over Tibet (it won't be long!) but you would think with the influx of tourists the government might improve the public toilet situation. Apparently not - well, it's not a money earner is it so why should they. A Chinese statue right in front of the Polata Place would benefit the people much more don't you think.

You see the public loos are open. And for those of you who haven't had the privilege of experiencing an 'open loo' let me elaborate. There is no sanitation. There is a whole in the ground. Worse that that you have to squat over a trough so you get the added benefit of seeing what everyone else is relieving themselves of. Even better there are no doors. You literally pee in front of everyone. And I mean everyone. Seeing a Westerner peeing is hilarious to most locals. Most of them don't have a tv so sadly I think this could be the next best thing judging from their hysterical laughs!!

The thing is the fact 10 or so Tibetans are laughing at you peeing isn't really a problem. You see you're too busy trying not to vomit at the stench from feces from your neighbour flowing down below you. You're also trying to avoid being stung by the huge bees flying around your ass. Gone are the days of relaxing on the loo, flicking through Heat or Glamour. Rolling my eyes at a piece of toilet paper on the floor of the loo is The Worseley or the fact the hand towels aren't quite the right shade of white in Claridges. Oh how I yearn for those days...

Now it's a military operation. Liberal application of Tiger Balm below your nostrils (so much that it's burns your skin) to try and prevent the stench from making you retch. Toilet roll already torn into pieces to avoid any dropping incidents or worse still losing your balance (could you imagine falling into the trough?). Ensuring your trousers are rolled up to avoid any back splash or even worse, the bottoms of your trousers falling into the piss around the squat. After the deed is down a quick exit, ensuring you don't slip, your trousers are done up and you're not vomiting. Breathing a sigh of relief as you exit the piss house and douse your hands with sanitiser. Welcome to my world!