Leaving Varkala

Leaving Varkala was one of the hardest goodbyes I've had to date. I'd stayed there in total for nearly two months and to be honest I'd really settled there. It was easy: I'd made so many friends, spent my days sunbathing, practicing yoga and hanging out. Eventually it got a bit much - before I knew where I was I had my feet fully under the table and knew it was time to leave when I became fully embroiled in local Indian gossip. When the going gets tough - the tough leave. Don't get me wrong it wasn't anything I couldn't handle but nevertheless it made me realise my time in Varkala had to come to an end. As all good things have to eventually.

I felt like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz - when she said goodbye the the Lion, Tin Man and Scarecrow before heading back to Kansas - when I left Varkala. I had such an amazing send off. All the gorgeous friends I'd made from Skyline, Rex's travel planet and possibly the best beauty therapist in the world - Reji - where there to wave me off. Even my 'adopted' brother, Vinod, came with me to the train station despite the fact he would potentially feel the wrath of his boss for skiving. And possibly the kindest man I've ever met, The Councellor, took time out from his meeting at the council and turned up at the train station to say goodbye to me too. To say it or rather I was emotional would be an understatement.

In true Indian style Vinod escorted me across the train tracks (who needs a bridge when you can just cross the tracks to the other platform) to the platform where my train was due. We sat down and smoked a cig together and that's when it started. It all got a bit much for me and I started crying. Poor Vinod looked so uncomfortable and I swear from the look on his face he was contemplating throwing himself on to the train tracks - anything to avoid a tearful female!

The thought of my tears bringing Vinod to actually consider death as an alternative to me weeping was enough to make me pull myself together. However when I boarded the train is was a slightly different matter. 'Great' I thought 'I can cry at leisure now!' And cry I did. In fact I wept most of the way the Madurai.

To start off with it was mainly over a guy I'd spent alot of time with while I was in Varkala - which just goes to show that at 34 I still have the ability to behave like a teenager and completely justify my behaviour at the same time. Not sure which I should be more concerned about; the fact that I can act like a teenager or that I can completely justify every single one of my actions whether appropriate or not.

I was half way to Madurai when I suddenly realised I was sobbing over a guy. Mildy mortified with myself I decided to go the whole hog and cry about everything and anything I could think of - in for a penny and all that. Not sure if anyone else has this (maybe it's just me) but I actually have a file in my brain, an index if you will of things I can cry about. I whip it out when necessary.

So that's what I did. Out came the crying list. I cried about the fact I was leaving so many friends behind in Varkala, what a great time I'd had, all my friends are married/coupled up and I'm not, I'm turning 35 on 12th April (pls note), I found my first grey hair, a dog nicked one of my fav Haviana's while I was sunbathing, my rucksack is too heavy, I've lost so much weight my knickers no longer fit me (tears of joy in that case!) and the man in the bunk above me was snoring. I sobbed for Great Britain. And that's one of the things I like about India. When you're sad no one comes near you. I think the fact I looked like I'd gone 10 rounds in a boxing ring with Mike Tyson may have deterred people from approaching me. No matter. It suited my mood - to be alone, crying.

I arrived in Madurai a new person - albeit slightly puffy around the eyes. Refused to pay 20 INR for a richshaw 'I'm a seasoned traveller' I thought 'I will walk'. 20 minutes later it suddenly dawned on me that I didn't know where I was going, it was 5am and my legs were about to buckle under the weight of my rucksack. Ate humble pie and hopped in the back of a rickshaw, arrived at a guest house where as soon put my bags down in my room the guy started trying to sell me some weed...welcome to Madurai..think I might like it here!