My first feature....

Many of you know I'm trying to carve a new career for myself in writing so I thought I'd add my first feature onto the site - it's been pitched to papers etc at the mo and naturally I'll keep you posted on any developements. Wish me luck!

A CHANGE FOR THE BETTER...FINALLY!

Usually the month of January sends me into a near state of depression - the “life has to change in someway’ notion constantly dominating my thoughts. Only this year it’s different. I’m not battling to get on a tube in the morning, I’m not groaning as I drag myself out of bed to try and prepare myself for yet another uninspiring day in the office, I’m not contemplating ‘sticking’ at a relationship with a man with more issues than Parliament and I’m not boozing away my weekends. You see a year ago I made a massive decision. To go traveling…alone.

Working stupid hours chained to my desk in the ‘giddy’ world of Beauty PR, the relentless pressure of 'figures this, figures that', the constant barrage of either unachievable or frankly bonkers requests from clients ranging from ‘can you see if Kylie Minogue will perform at the party for 10k!’ and ‘your target is to get a hasbin hairdresser on the front cover of Vogue’ - sadly I'm not kidding – had taken its toll.

Not only was I working ridiculous hours, my social life was beyond hectic. Perhaps it was a text book situation. I literally felt like stabbing my own hand every time I walked into the soulless office, so I partied hard all weekend to forget about it. Friday night usually finished on Sunday morning. I was getting bored, mainly of myself.

And with the nights out came the 'flighty' men. So relationship wise the garden was looking anything but rosy. All of my friends - and I mean ALL of them - were coupled up. Each weekend I had four choices; going out with my hedonistic mates, a quiet dinner playing gooseberry with a couple, a night out with Mr ‘I’m not ready for any kind of relationship even with myself’ or baby sitting. I was stuck in a rut and didn't know how to get out of it.

A friend suggested I speak to a Life Coach. I instinctively went to scoff at the idea but as my situation wasn't about to change and I didn't have any other ideas - aside from another night out - I decided to give it a go. Three sessions later and thanks to the wonderful guidance of Meena Heath I had a 'get out of jail' plan. I was going travelling. And I was going on my own.

My decision to head off into the big unknown caused varied reactions. My clients’ jaw literally fell to the floor when I told her - but then we are talking about a woman who’s unable to walk 50 yards without insisting her PR agency organises a 7 series Mercedes to drive the 'distance' in case her Jimmy Choos get damaged.

Having said that the general response to my decision was actually really positive. Most told me how brave I was and how they'd love to have the 'guts' to do the same. I didn't see it as bravery as such. As far as I was concerned I didn't really have a choice. Well not any that I liked. I could either stay in a job I found totally uninspiring, in a relationship going now where, surrounded by Papa and Mama gift vouchers and/or wedding invitations and being miserable - or go travelling, give the unexpected a chance just maybe have a fantastic time.

I'd decided to keep my options open - I knew which countries I wanted to see: Tibet, Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Cambodia, Nepal and India and then head down to Oz. It was a lose plan at least. The last thing I wanted to do was start with a ridged itinerary. I was fed up with planning my life and really wanted the chance to see where the wind would take me.

I'm now six months into my travels and I have to pinch myself most days to check I’m not dreaming. When I think back to how I was feeling this time last year I actually think of a different person. I’m actually happy and content. Two things I hadn’t felt for many, many years.

When I wake up the sun is shining, the weather is warm, I’m not battling to get anywhere, I have the time to actually have conversations with people and not just the one’s I know, strangers also get a look in these days! I’m experiencing situations I never thought I’d find myself in. This time last year evenings out consisted of various dinners and bars at places like J Sheekey’s and Amika, now I’m eating food with my right hand with locals outside a food stall. It’s a leveler to say the least.

I've seen the very best and worst of countries and people which has totally broadened my horizons. Poverty which brings tears to your eyes, kindness of people who have so little but still offer you a piece of fruit, strangers who help you when you least expect it and when you most need it. I've laughed with people from all different walks of life, I've seen the Dalai Lama teach, experience near death with a Cobra in the jungle, saved my friend from falling down a ravine (well, it was actually the vine wedge in between her legs that saved her but I like to think I helped from a directional perspective).

I've avoided being recruited for a tantric sex workshop (the thought of trying to orgasm in front of an audience oddly enough didn't appeal), drank Chai with Indian woman who barely spoke English but insisted I sit with her every day, mediated with a Buddhist monk in one of the oldest monasteries in Tibet, survived hair raising bus journeys, met some fantastic people who've become firm friends. Every opinion I've ever had has been totally challenged. The list of unimaginable situations I've encountered has totally blown me away and I'm doing things I'd never, ever thought I'd do.

There have been a few hairy moments though. Mainly in the fashion dept. It's frightening how if you see an item enough times you start to like it. I was in northern India, it was freezing when I found myself eyeing up a rather hideous Yak wool florescent orange hooded top. I actually asked how much it cost, realised what I was doing and promptly took myself back to my room to bang my head repeatedly with an old copy of Vogue which I always carry with me in case of emergencies!

Travelling has given me the head space to work out what I really want from life; it may sound clichéd but it's true. The one thing I've noticed is my cynicism which was very much apparent (to everyone) has completely disappeared. It's actually quite refreshing not to think everyone you come across is trying to rip you off. Maybe its 12 years living in London which does it to you but when you travel on your own (and I've not been 'alone' for more than two days) you have to put your trust people and really rely on your instincts. I've met so many kind people (refreshingly there are so many out there) it's like a breath of fresh air.

So I'm no longer running around at 100 mph, I've lost weight, given up smoking and barely drink anymore. I've been able to fully indulge in everything I've ever wanted to i.e. yoga, meditation and find out how other cultures live and it's fascinating. The blue print of how I thought my future would look has completely changed. And I like it.

I'm not saying travelling is the solution for everyone who's fed up with the mundane. But what I am saying is if you do have the urge to head off into the unknown but you're still a bit unsure and worried about travelling on your own, book your ticket and start saving. You won't regret it. I've yet to meet anyone who has. And besides if you don't like it you can always come back.