Returning to Thailand

Okay, so I'll admit I really didn't see what the fuss was about Thailand when I came started my travels from there last July. I really didn't get it. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't as though I didn't not like it. I just wasn't blown away by the country. Maybe I had high expectations as everyone was like 'you'll love Thailand'...I have to be honest I didn't really. True I met some amazing people and had a fabulous time during the two months I was there but the country and the people itself? I wasn't desperate to return. I thought, and still do think, Thailand is knackered. It's been ravaged by tourism, the natives are worn out, tired generally over it or rather over us and there is a real seedy side to Thailand which I personally find hard to digest.

Personally I think when you come to Thailand you witness first hand the real hedonistic side to human nature. Where money can buy you anything and you can indulge in every sexual perversion possible for a small amount of money. Anything goes and I mean anything. It's pretty sick. I shudder when I see tiny, prepubescent like Thai girls - and most of them are girls - with fat, unattractive, sexual deviants - and you can spot a sexual deviant a mile off, they have that unkempt look) or worse still guys who look like one of you dad's mates. In my experience if you want to avoid this side of Thailand then you have you to really search for those parts where it's not in your face. And that my friend is pretty hard. The sex trade is rife and it's virtually everywhere.

No country is perfect though and obviously it's not all bad. Thailand has some of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen, the food is amazing in terms of the sheer range and once you head outside of Bangers - or sin city as I like to affectionately call it - you get a true feel for the culture which is peaceful, calm and giving. The Wats (temples) are stunning as is the scenery - in fact one of my most memeroble momments in Thailand was trekking in Pai. The landscape was beautiful. I hasten to add that's the first and last trekk I'll ever do however I can still appreciate the beauty....admittedly even more so from the comfort of the Hot Spot Internet Cafe in Bangers that currently I'm writing from!

So although I was looking forward to meeting Mr Dan Pimm in Phuket - also known for it's girly bars and the Thai's version of Benidorm - I wasn't massively enthralled about the thought of heading back to the country which had left me feeling pretty no plused.

That was until I flew over the Anadaman Coast and OH. MY. GOD. My eyes were popping out of my head as I saw the coast line - it was one of the most beautiful landscapes I'd ever seen. Tropical vegatation with massive rubber and coconut plantations replacing the rice and sugar-cane fields you see in central Thailand. Sheer limestone crags spiked out of the calm turquise sea which, set against the pure white sandy beaches, looked nothing short of stunning. It was at that point that I knew I was finally going to understand the attraction of Thailand and perhaps appreciate it for what it is.

I met Mr Pimm in Phuket Town. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, Pimm is like the brother I never head and was over from London on a 10 day holiday. Like me he has no 'significant other' in tow. All his mates are coupled up it's pretty hard to find someone to go on holiday with. So it works out rather well what with me travelling. The last time I saw him was when he came to see me in Kerala in November. Plenty, and I mean plenty, has happened to both of us since then so we had a lot of catching up to do. And we always chew the fat extremely well. So I was looking forward to seeing a friendly face.

Dinner at Thammachat was not only delicious it was hilarious and the perfect start to the next 10 days. The restaurant provided all the necessary people watching elements required for a 'oh my god look at that' night out.

To the right of our table were two 60 plus highly unattractive German men with what looked like a mother and daughter Thai act. The daughter being about 15 and that's no exaggeration. Thankfully I had birds eye view of all of them - much to Dan's disappointment who had to do the 'scratch the neck and turn' manoeuvre to get a good look. Both of the pervy men kept avoiding eye contact with me but I made sure I kept smiling at the Thai mother though just for full effect.

Directly in Dan's view were a two gay lovers: one older Western guy (nationality unknown but we suspected British) and a very young Thai guy. Then on another table was a scenario I personally hadn't witnessed before: mum, dad, daughter and an middle aged Western guy who had coloured his hair the tell-tale aurban colour - for some reason most of the older western guys who want to look around 40 try to perfect this look. I have no idea why. I think it must be home colourant they all use as the grey is never covered properly. Just when we thought it couldn't get any better Dan and I were eagerly surveying our dinner companions when our waiter or rather waitress arrived to take our order - a lady boy! We were in heaven. Welcome to Thailand!