Being judgemental.....

The one thing I've noticed since I started travelling is how cynical and judgemental I am. Actually if I'm honest I'm not at all surprised. I've always known it, have been told so but I've only really realised the sheer magnitude. Much of it is probably down to fear - aren't most things? I don't want to end up in a situation I can't handle or worse still on a missing persons list. So I'm pretty cautious of most people. But then I always have been so again, nothing new there.

Most people will be able to resonate with the fact that when you live in London you harden up massively. If a stranger approaches you you suspect he's about to rape you. After six or so years living in London I once gave a guy in my parents village the most filthy look I muster after he politely said 'good morning'. It was a natural reaction. He looked horrified and scuttled off!

So what's brought about this sudden concern when before I used to rate my filthy looks on a scale of one to ten as I walked to the tube in the mornings? Throughout my travels in Thailand and especially Cambodia, I've witnessed some really compassionate acts. One's where the giver hasn't 'benefited' in any other way other than to help someone. Perhaps it's the fact the majority of the population in both countries is Buddhist which heavily focuses on compassion. People are taught to give from a very early age - in the mornings the streets are filled with monks collecting alms. People young, old, rich or poor give food to the monks. It's an old tradition and one which reminds people of the benefits of giving.

Perhaps it's being in a third (or second) world country that I've realised how unfortunate others are and how important it is to help. More to the point I've met and seen people who really do have very little in terms of material objects. They struggle to feed their families, don't have central heating, running water. All the things I take for granted yet they always greet you with a smile on their faces and can't do enough for you. It's made me realise it's much easier and takes much less energy to be nice, friendly than it is to be annoyed and angry the whole time.

So what's surprised me the most on my travels is how ridged I've been in the past and recently. Admittedly we all make judgements - it's human nature and if we didn't we'd have no way of gaging people and situations. What I've noticed is how I've had to changed my judgements based on previous stereotypes. I've found myself in situations I would never have normally been in. For example I met this guy, from Cameron. He was great. Had so much fun with him and he was totally on my level. More so than any other guy I've ever met. He introduced me to his friends (all of which were incredibly welcoming), we went to an African restaurant (I was a minority), I ate with my fingers (obviously used my hand sanitiser first!!), danced all night and talked about many different things. I had a fantastic time. It was a real eye opener especially as culturally we really are worlds apart.

In fact I've had so many eye openers along my journey I've had to battle to keep my eye balls in their sockets!! A taxi driver in Bangkok got out of his car, brought some fruit and gave the lot to me. He insisted. Maybe I looked malnourished or ill!! The man in the post office who, while I was trying to tape up my package, grabbed the tape and did it for me - he didn't speak English, I don't speak Thai. He just did it, smiled and gave it back to me. How kind.

I met a girl on a bus in Cambodia. I heard her first. She annoyed me immediately. It was early in the morning and she was banging on about crap. I was literally rolling my eyes with annoyance. Decided to avoid her. Ended up chatting to her and she was lovely. Really open, nice, honest. What you see is what you get. Perfect. Ended up hanging out with her for a few days in Phnom Penh. We had a great laugh and I'll definitely keep in touch.

With most of these situations I was initially stand offish, over cautious (ie looking them up and down suspiciously), judgemental and cynical; what do they want? What are they after? Must be something dodgy. They irritate me so there's no way I'm speaking to them and/or giving them a chance. Each time I've been pleasantly surprised. So I've decided to take the plunge and go with the flow (massive deal to a control freak) and be open minded.

I'll keep you posted on my progress!