What kind of man....the categories

Over the past couple of months I've been fortunate to witness some fantastic sights. Some have been appreciated, some haven't. Many of them jaw dropping....some for the wrong reasons. One of the many sights I've become only to familiar with in Thailand and to a certain extent in Cambodia, is the sheer number of Western men with South East Asian women.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a firm believer of each to their own. Everyone has there own tastes and that's the way it should be - something for everyone. I don't have a problem with that. It's just I can't help but wonder what it's all about. You shouldn't judge on looks alone but I have to admit it really makes my skin crawl when you see a 65 plus, overweight man with mottled skin, a gold chain and comb over wich a 20 year-old size 0 girl.

The sex trade in Thailand is no big secret. It's rife. Many of the women are prostitutes, forced into the sex trade to feed their families and or seek a better lifestyle as there own is too unbearable. Some simply prefer to earn a living this way. One guy I was with was told this girl fancied him, he was naturally flattered until he was told he'd have to pay the princely sum of 1,000 bhat...that's about a tenner for her time. On the other hand some women aren't prostitutes as such - they are just seeking a lifestyle which could only be achieved with a 'wealthy' Western man.

So you could say that they offer a service which there is a market for. It's fair and square and there's nothing wrong with it. Prostitution is probably the oldest profession in the world. Of course there isn't anything wrong with it as such but then again if it was so great we'd all be encouraging our daughters, sisters, friends to graduate into the profession. Most of the men I know are more than fine with it until you ask them if they'd like their sister/daughter/neice to experince the same and they soon start stuttering.

The thing is that personally I can't help but feel pity for the tiny, young Thai woman who is sitting across from a man old enough to be her grandfather and who has the face only a mother could love. Add to the fact she's drinking water so is stone cold sober. Well, you can't really help but feel pity.

Obviously not all South East Asian women with Western men are prostitutes. Perhaps there is an agreement of sorts. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours - sorry, couldn't resist!

We're all familiar with Thai brides, groups of guys who head to Thailand for a sex fest, the loners who are really just seeking some company, preferably from a pretty woman who won't give them any back chat. I know a few men who'd like the sound of that!! And if you have to part with 15 quid along they way then...well, I'm sure it's justified by the fact it's the equivalent to buying a a few drinks in the pub (depending on where you drink) and you're guaranteed she puts out at the end of it! Some of course are genuinely in love and that's fantastic.

A few evenings have been spent with various travellers I've met along the way, debating the whole western man with South East Asian women scenario. Is it fair on the women? Is it unfair on the men? Who's the loser - if you want to put it like that. Are there particular types of men who and can you put them into categories. Of course! There have been many differences of opinion as I'm sure you can imagine. In general though most think it's far from ideal given the fact many of the women wouldn't be with the guys if she had a choice. The thing is we call have choices. It's just that often we don't like the choices we have.

Now I'm not naive enough to think I can change things. However if I'm constantly being confronted with a huge number of Western men with South East Asian woman then I'm going to have to make sense of it some how. The easiest way for me is with some humour. So I've devised four key categories. These have been discussed at length with various friends (male and female) and refined along the way. And if I do say so myself, I think they're pretty spot on!

Category 1: the divorcee:

A personal favorite of mine in terms of value - they get really uncomfortable if you stare at them which of course I love to do...if nothing else I'm puzzled as to why they think combing over two strands of hair hides their bald head.

This species is easily identifyable, usually with dyed auburn coloured hair to hide the grey hair when introduced to the woman's village family. 8 out of 10 sport a comb over 'hair style' which usual amounts to two or three strands of hair, geled and combed over the skull. Hides a multitude of sins don't you know!!

Normally dressed from head to toe in one colour (either light blue of beige), usually cotton short sleeved shirt and trousers with alarming footwear. Being a shoe lover, the footwear bothers me the most. It can range from black or brown leather slip-ons or sandals....with matching socks.

The divorcee is tired of women from his country and/or 20 years younger than him. He thinks women within this age range expect to much, they are too opinionated. Frankly too much like hard work. He's after someone who's attractive, who will look after him, won't question his tactics and sexula prowness (assuming he has any) in bed and generally will agree with what he says...this is mainly due to the language barrier as she can't really understand what he's saying or if she does, she doesn't have the vocab to reply!

The bonus for the South East Western woman is that he offers a nice lifestyle and she doesn't have to engage in too much conversation. A simple nod or yes will suffice.

Category 2: In love:

Young or old it can happen to anyone if you're lucky. You can spot it a mile off and it's lovely to see.

Category 3: The Loaner:

This guy rarely pulls women in his home town. He needs to go abroad and pay for it to get a look in with a pretty girl. He's in awe of his mates who get to go home with attractive women so naturally enjoys the kudos of 'pulling' a good looking girl abroad.

The girl usually look a bit pained or bored as they listen to him waffle on about himself. The Loaner usually wears a logo tee with light faded jeans and trainer. He tends to walk the streets hand in hand with said woman with a massive grin on his face. Fair enough!

Category 4: The Hedonist:

Basically a bit of sex pest. No age or looks category here - men who fall into this category are out to satisfy as many of the sexual perverse fantasies as possible. Have been known to get quite violent. Tend to treat the woman with contempt or on the flip side are just thankful someone has finally allowed them to act out their greatest and potentially sickest fantasy.