The Golden Puke - The Golden Temple & Boarder Closing - Amritsar, Punjab

Originally I wasn't planning to head north towards the boarder but I'd heard on the 'traaavellaaar' grapevine the Golden Temple (the Sikh's holiest shrine)and the pomp and glory of the boarder closing with Pakistan wasn't to be missed either. So heeding the words of from my father: 'I wouldn't go anywhere near the boarder if I were you' I did what came naturally to me and promptly disregarded what said. Before I knew it I was racing (literally) along the windy roads of McLeod towards Amritser in the back of a car with a driver who would give Lewis Hamilton a run for his money!

For those of you who've had the er, pleasure of 'experiencing' the driving skills in India you'll know first hand the journey is well, erratic to say the least. The roads in India can only be described as disorganised chaos. An average one hour journey consists of at least five near misses (the head-on collision kind), car, bus, tractor horns blowing consistently - you don't indicate in India; you sound your horn continuously and pull out when a car on the opposite side of the road is directly in front of you. Most over taking 'maneuvers' are done on a bend, the brow of a hill or as the car/bus is chugging up a steep hill. Oddly enough a car (or bus) journeys have never really bothered me. I started to wonder why then realised I'd experienced it before - my sister Georgia's driving is not that dissimilar!

The drive to Amritsar was no different. After five hours of neath death experiences and endless 'banging' tunes ranging from Bollywood to trance esq 'world music' me, Sonny, Chris and Emma arrived in Amritsar. It was full on in the sense that I'd travelled from relaxing, sleepy (ish) McLeod to a dusty, sweaty, busy Amritsar. And back to the 'real' India with a bang. With that comes the starring, the pushing, the smells of sandalwood, curry and incense.

We'd come to see the Golden Temple. And as it turns out stay at the Golden Temple (well on the grounds) too. So far so good you think. So did I until I realised I would be sharing a bathroom, shower and eating my meals with 1000 pilgrims.

Immediately my stomach churned. This was my idea of sheer hell. Questions and images raced through my head...what are the hygiene standards likely to be of hundreds of people? squat toilets - will they be properly drained of will it be like wading through the sea to get to them (I like to tell myself it's water I'm walking through to stop me from retching). Did they use a high quality brand of washing up liquid to wash utensils in the canteen which feeds thousands of people a day? How often are the toilets cleaned with bleach, whats the bedding like - is it clean? My worst fears and questions were answered when I walked into our room. Sorry, I mean cell.

My jaw would've dropped to the floor if I knew it had been cleaned in the last decade. It was a pit. It was disgusting. For starters there wasn't a window. It was a windowless hovel. And it stank. There were three metal framed beds. There were four of us. We were sharing. I can handle sharing a bed with a few people but not in a cell with the remains of food from the previous 'tenants' smeared on the walls and rubbish on the floor. What I certainly cannot handle is a stinking, dirty 'mattress'.

I made a few major mistakes during my stay in Amritsar. The first was agreeing to stay with a zillion pilgrims in a hovel. My second was smelling the mattresses. They weren't exactly mattresses. I'm exaggerating. They were like the 'mattresses' you get on a sun lounger. The type that means you wake up feeling like you've done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson and you've aged 20 years. Anyway, back to the mattress - as my nose edged closer the stench hit me like a punch in the face. A mixture of sweat, dead skin cells and God only knows what else. I dry wretched.

Let me put this in context for you. Since I started travelling I haven't trusted one single guest house on the issue of cleanliness of their bed linen. When I arrive anywhere my ritual is to lay my sarongs neatly on the bed. I lay two on the bed itself and the third acts as a cover. Call it neuritic, in fact call it what you want. I have a phobia against catching skin diseases and crabs. Therefore my delicate sun kissed skin hasn't felt the crispness of bed linen since July. Needless to say there was no way my lovely sarongs were going to be tarnished with the dirty, stinking ma tress. There was nothing else for it. The sleeping sheet, which I only ever use in extreme circumstances ie trekking and train journeys, was pulled out hastily.

Why didn't I move you may ask. Good question. I couldn't. Well I could but my fellow travellers where not only in the mood for saving rupees but also on a quest to make me a 'proper' traveller. Apparently you're not one until you've stayed in a hovel and paid virtually nothing for it. I tried to argue that I was flashpacker - a back packer with money. I even offered to pay for a room in a guest house. I even pulled out the age card ie 'I'm nearly in my mid 30's you can't expect me to stay here at my age'. My pleas meant nothing to them. It fact I think it encouraged them. I then got annoyed at the fact they thought I wouldn't' be able to handle it so I agreed to stay. Pride is a terrible thing.

First stop was the boarder closing parade. With the words of doom from my father ringing in my ears and the ever growing paranoia that I was about to get nuked, (thanks dad!) we crammed into a taxi for the 50k journey to the boarder.

Basically army guards from Pakistan and India march up and down and have what can only be described as a 'march-off' to signal the end of the day. It's like a mark of respect for both countries. A bit like an extended goodnight or rather a 'we've not killed each other today so as a mark of respect I'd like to thank you for that!'.

Both sides cheer and jeer at each other - the atmosphere on the Indian 'side' was electric. It reminded me of a bollywood film. People dancing, cheering, singing. Brilliant. The Pakistani 'side' would then retaliate with their version.

I was woken at 4am by a million pilgrims and chanting. We were waking up early to watch the sun rise over the Golden Temple so you could call it an early morning wake-up call - literally. The temple itself is utterly gorgeous. Golden would you believe. It's open to all and surprisingly no-one asks for any money. It has a genuine spiritual atmosphere too. Pilgrims and visitors to the complex have to remove their shoes, wash their feet and cover their heads. The architecture, like the religion, is a blend of Hindu and Islamic styles but very different to both. The golden dome represents an inverted lotus flower, a symbol of Sikhism's aim to live a pure life.

Four priests form inside the temple keep up a continuous chant in Punjabi from the Sikh holy book and this is broadcast around the temple complex by loudspeakers. I actually got chatting to one of the priests. Really nice guy who was more than happy to talk about the religon which I know very little about. In fact everyone I met was really happy to explain a bit about the rituals (as such), do's and don'ts etc.

After embracing the sunrise over the temple we headed to the canteen for breakfast which consisted of Dal, a roti (pancake thingy) and chai). Sonny speaks Punjabi so we got chatting to a woman sitting next to him with her husband. Obviously Sonny was translating as my Punjabi isn't quite to up to conversation level yet (LOL). The conversation was pretty alarming. Turns out she was visiting the temple to heal her face which had a fair few scars on it plus you could tell she's suffered from a broken nose. When we asked what had happened to her face she smiled, pointed at her husband and told us that he did it. Just like that. As bold as brass. I nearly spat my chai out there and then. I had to really stop myself from giving him severe dagger looks. Just goes to show how different the cultural differences are - but then maybe not. I think it seems to be more hidden in the UK. Anyway, she seemed totally fine with it - well, accepting at least....

I have to admit I was pretty horrified at the wife beater experience - having been woken up with the birds I toyed with the idea of going back to the cell for a rest but then reconsidered. In stead we decided to try a few delicacies from one of the street vendors.

MISTAKE NUMBER THREE.

The street vendor was such a sweet lady, all smiley and happy for us to sample her snacks which comprised various fried foods ranging from samosas, bahjis and few poppadoms. I gobbled them up and then promptly threw the lot up. Imagine if you will sprinting to the shared toilets. Trying to dodge the various people lying on the floor along the way. Being starred at like you belong in a zoo (the cubical doors don't lock and swing open all the time) as you throw your guts up. Repeatedly. In the end I just wept. I wept for the fact I was puking into a squat loo, for the fact I had 10 women watching me as I did, because I had slept on a bed which hadn't been cleaned since Noah built his arc and I'd OD on fried foods, for the fact that there wasn't a 5 star hotel near by and for the horrifying realisation that I had a horrific choice to make. Do I stay in the cell and try and recover from sick gate or brave a 10 hour bus journey. I chose the bus journey.

Don't get me wrong the Golden Temple is fabulous and the board closing parade is a definite must-see. Just don't stay at the temple or eat from food stalls!!

The Temple of Rats - Bikaner, Rajastan

The first thing you notice about India, aside from the fact everyone seems to have a mobile phone, is the vast array of colours every where. From the colours in the shops, the pastel colours the houses are painted to the Sari's the women wear. India is definitely a country of colours which seem to come to life even more when you enter Rajastan. The region has been described as 'real' India - how the country used to be before the claws of the western world seized the country. It's certainly got a certain rawness to it.

The setting for Bikaner is the arid desert so the deep reds, bright greens and yellow colours of turbans and Sari's really jump out at you. The main attraction to Bikaner is the Karni Mata Temple at Deshnok, about 30 mins drive in a tuk tuk from the town centre. The drive through the desolate dessert adds to the fact it's probably one of the strangest temples and definitely not for the squeamish.

According to legend, Karni Mata, in incarnation of Durga, who lived in the 14th Century, asked the God of Death, Yama, to restore to life the son of a grieving storyteller. When Yama refused, Karni Mata re-incarnated all dead storytellers as rats, depriving Yama of human souls.

Thousands of Kabas (holy rats) now live at the temple. If you don't like rats - which I don't - then it's verging on fairly traumatic. Firstly, don't be lulled into a false sense of security when you see the temple looking all pristine. Sparkling in the sun. The silver doors with their intricate details is also misleading as behind those doors are thousands of rodents. Literally.

First shocker of the day was that you have to remove your shoes. Of course you do. It's a temple. That's what you have to do before you enter a temple. Picture if you will a grown woman whimpering and wincing as she takes her first step and places her clean delicate foot onto the white (cleanish) marble of the temple. All manner of things were running through my mind. How many diseases can you catch from rats? How many bacteria can happily live on marble floors? How good is the Indian health care system - is there one?

So there I was picking my way through the rats, wincing with every step and trying to avoid touching anything that a rat may have been on. Which is pretty hard when you're on tip toe, dodging running rats and trying to ensure you don't 'step' in anything. I was trying to spot where the rat crap was on the marble floor but I gave up when I nearly mistook shite for a rat and screamed as I thought I was about to step on it. See pics above for living proof - I came pretty close to the rats many times!

Don't get me wrong. Rats aren't scampering around your size 6's. They keep pretty much to themselves. And I have to say they did look a little un healthy so I don't think there's any danger of you leaving the temple thinking rats are cute and cuddly. These one's certainly aren't!

Having said that apparently it's lucky for a rat to run over your foot. Even luckier for you if you spot a white rat. You can also eat prasad - holy food offering covered in rat holy rat saliva which is claimed to bring good fortune. I was willing to take their word of it in this case!

The second shocker of the day was the fact I spotted a few babies on the floor of the temple. Happily crawling around ON THE FLOOR OF THE TEMPLE (see pic above). It was as much as I could do to stop myself from picking them up off the floor. But to Hindus of course the temple and its rats are holy. Thousands of pilgrims head there every day. No place for me to be simpering and wincing around in!

The 'experience' of the holy rodents definitely earned me a look around the shops. Namely the spice market in the old town. It's one of India's biggest. The old town itself is set within the old Bikaner fortress. It's pretty with winding alley ways which are home to over 500,000 Indians. There you can buy an array of spices ranging both common and obscure.

Rajasthan is the home of 'home stays' where you basically stay with an Indian family, home cooked food and definitely not as clinical as a hotel/guest house. It's quite a nice idea and means you're slightly out of the way from the usual foray of travellers. The place I stayed at - Vino Paying Guest House - was more sophisticated affair but very much still family run. The room was great for 250 INR (that's about 3quid), food was good too.

Some lovely people were staying at the guest house. Although I nearly threw myself out of the window when the inevitable 'traaavellaaar' talk began. It's the usual 'who's done what, been where and who's out done who on the "I've been to the most secluded place on earth" front. God, it's so bloody dull. I asked an Italian girl where she'd stayed in Pushkar as that was my next port of call. She smirked and then proudly (and loudly) told me that I wouldn't have heard of it as only Indian people stay there and then went on to tell me that Pushkar was so 'last year...it's all about Udaipur you know'. I went to bed before the inevitable narcalepsy that I tend to suffer from when these type of conversations start. Aaaaah, you gotta love the travel snobs.

I'm getting married!

On the 27th May 2008. I know because the tailor in McLeod's told me so. There I was talking to Mr Seeklam about the trousers I wanted him to make when the inevidtable question about my marital status was asked. Mr Seeklam was horrified when he found out I wasn't married. After nearly choking on the news he told me about his son who ran another tailors in Delhi was actually looking for a wife. He even showed me a picture. Mr Seeklam looked genuinley sad for me when he told me I could have married his son if I was Indian and Hindu. You can imagine my dissapointment on hearing the news. He seeded a lifetime of textiles in Delhi right before my eyes then cruely snatched the 'dream' away from me. I was crest fallen.

Mr Seeklam then looked at me like he'd just remembered he had a couple of grand stashed behind the counter, grabbed my hand and read my palm. Pointed at a few lines with his biro and grunted. He then declared that I wasn't to worry. I'm to be married 27th May 2008. He even wrote the date on my palm in case I forgot I suppose!

He also went on to tell me that there in fact 3 men after my affections. None of them will talk to me about it. Can I just take this opportunity to say if any of the men he's talking about is reading this then please feel free to approach me. All applicatants are considered on a case by case basis. Although I must admit I do have a strict criteria!!

Seeing The Dalai Lama

OH. MY. GOD. I can barely contain my excitement. Today I saw the His Holiness The Dalai Lama. It was completely unexpected (like most things wonderful) and I was totally elated afterwards.

Someone who shall remain nameless had suggested to me that I wouldn't get to see him as was busy drinking cocktails with Richard Gere in America. Outrageous I know! However despite the cynicism of some friends I had actually already heard on the grapevine that HH (His Holiness) the Dalai Lama was returning from American. Word was that he would drive through McLeod on the way to his residence in the village.

I didn't really think that much of it. The thought on standing around at the side of the street waiting all day for a glimpse of him didn't really appeal to me. Besides I assumed the streets would be packed. So I went to yoga instead. Obviously two hours of Hatha Yoga one of the best instructors in the world, Vijay (FYI!!), gave me more karma points than I'd anticipated. I strolled out afterwards, noticed the streets were deserted and asked one of the shop owners, who I'm now friendly with, what was going on. He stared at me like I was mad (a look I've come to know and love!) and told me HH was driving through and were I should stand so I can get a good look at him. I nearly screamed. And then sprinted up a steep hill to secure a place.

Fortunately for me my new friend and Tibetan Buddhist Monk, Tezin, was waiting in the crowd. Next think I know I'm standing with a couple of Monks with burning incense in my hand waiting for the Dalai Lama to drive past. How surreal and frankly how brilliant. If someone had told me this time last year - while I was slaving away in PR, loathing every single minute of it then drinking myself into oblivion each Friday to try and forget about my week - that I'd be chatting with monks while waiting to see the Dalai Lama I would've roared with laughter as a mask to hide the fact I secretly hoped they were right!!

The build up to the drive thru was pretty impressive. Days before the Tibetan prayer flags (five colourful flags: red, yellow, green, white and blue which represent the five elements: earth, water, fire, cloud, sky) had been positioned all the road to the Temple where the DL lives. Images of the Buddhist/Tibetan endless knot (based on cause and effect ie karma as it all links up) had been painted all away along the road leading to the temple. It wasn't overly busy. Maybe a few hundred people (mostly Tibetans) lined the streets holding burning incense and praying. The atmosphere was very peaceful.

We knew his was coming when the security guards started to walk down the street asking people to move back. As soon as he car approached the monks I was with and many of the people around me started to bend down, lower their heads and pray. It was an amazing sight. And then there he was. I got a clear view of His Holiness, all smiley and cute bowing his head with his hands in pray position. I swear he gave me a knowing look and a nod!!!

At home in McLeod Ganj

I spent just over two weeks in McLeod and I have to admit if it wasn't for the fact it was beginning to get so cold in the evenings - my hands nearly dropped off with frost bite when I was in bed trying to read my book - then I would've stayed longer. It's the only place to date I've felt at home. I loved it.

McLeod is home to thousands of Tibetan refugees. So it's really not India at all, more like a mini Tibet. At least without the Chinese breathing down their necks. People mainly talk Tibetan or Hindi. The Tibetan way of life and customs are clearly evident around the village. From the elderly women who wear traditional head dresses, the prayer wheels that people hold as they walk around the village mumbling their mantras to the turquoise jewellery on stalls, to the momos sold by street vendors. The Tibetan way of life is very strong. And there's a real village/community feel to McLeod too which is rather nice. A breath of fresh air in fact from the hecticness of dirty Delhi.

McLeod is set in a valley. The mountains are the backdrop for the small village which is set on both sides of the valley. It's busy, lots of shops which obviously I like but not too hectic. The temple is one of the most important to Tibetan Buddhists outside of Tibet plus it's the home of the Dalai Lama and certain areas of the surrounding area of the temple are really beautiful.

The sun shines brightly during the day and the sky is a crystal blue. It's quite surreal sometimes. For example you'll be sitting on the veranda at Nick's drinking a lassi and overlooking the valley when an eagle will swoop past. Then you look at the roof tops and a few monkeys will run across!

At night it's freezing which has naturally meant I had to go shopping for the must-have wrap. I also had to have a strong word with myself in order to avoid going for the ultimate traveller look of a hooded multi coloured yak wool jacket. Seriously, I brought a copy of Vogue (admittedly 3 months out of date but who cares) to sort myself out. It's actually frightening how if you see something enough it starts to grow on you. I wouldn't mind if it was a Marni jacket but I was starting to eye up some seriously tree-hugger esq items. Please forgive me.

McLeod has everything I like to do on offer. I practiced yoga daily with the world renowned Vijay, meditated, hiked (well, okay I walked up to a waterfall in a near by village called Bagsu and nearly lacerated my feet. It took longer than 30 mins which in my book qualifies as a trek!), there are a few movie houses with some of the latest releases, you can teach conversational English to Nun's and Monks (which I did - see pic!). And there's the temple which is really peaceful. Most importantly McLeod allows you to take chilling out on to another level. Plus it's really friendly.

The hub of the activity happened at a vegetarian Tibetan cafe called Gakyi - home of the best veg curry and brown rice. I virtually set-up home there. I met a ton of people from all walks of life: Swiss, German, Brazilian, Canadian, Scottish, Norwegian, Austrian, American and Australian. Each evening we'd all meet up, take over the small cafe and tell jokes. Well, they did. Jokes aren't really my thing. The only ones I do know tend offend people so for the benefit of world relations and for the first time in a long time I thought it best not to share my humour - I was trying to make friends after all!

Overall the pace of life in McLeod is so much more relaxed. I ended up chatting to all manner of people be it monks, nuns, travellers, locals. And some of the stories I heard were definitely eye openers. From local Tibetan guys who 'pray' on young innocent western woman to monks that de-robe for their lovers to the best skin care treatment (yep, I think I may have found the best anti-wrinkle cream to date!). It was fantastic. I could've stayed there for a very long time. But I had to leave. Someone 'kindly' introduced me to the Tibetan Bakery. It was there that I experienced chocolate balls for the first time. Amazing. Too good in fact. I had to leave to save my waistline!

I'm not finding myself....

Day two in McLeod in Northern India and home of his Holiness the Dalia Lama. To say I'm over excited and utterly thrilled to be here would be a massive understatement. I've planned this particular part of my travels with military prescion. I've dreamt of being here and now I am it's everything I expected it to be and more.

The contrast from here to Delhi is unimaginable and a huge relief. Chris decided to join me on this leg and I think he's pretty taken by it too. It's very peaceful. The backdrop for the little village are the mountains, the sky is a beautiful clear blue and the people are lovely. Real mix of Tibetans and Indians which seems to work well.

Thankfully Chris is more than happy to leave me to my own devices and go off trekking while I fully immerse myself in everything I promised myself I would do ie. yoga, meditation, astrology predictions by a Tibetan monk, gening up on DL and Buddhism.

I'm staying at OM guest house which makes me smile every time I think about it. Oh the irony. It's a friendly family run hotel, clean, good food and the veranda overlooks the valley. Perfect.

It's not too touristy here either. Admittedly there are a few people who are clearly embracing the look and are in danger of perhaps staying here rather longer than they should but all in all it's pretty chilled. I love it.

I've been deliberating whether to do the 10 day SILENT meditation retreat at the monastery. I've been really debating whether to do it and have decided not to for a number of reasons:

1.) I'm not looking to find myself. I've already found myself - I'm now accessorizing.
2.) I'd have to share a room with someone and not speak to them. I'd have to remain in complete silence which I would find rude and irritating...if not a bit boring.
3.) I have a massive problem with rules and/or strict programmes where I'm told what to do - it brings out the worst in me
4.) I like this characteristic and fear 10 days in silence under a strict programme may ruin this characteristic I've grown to like about myself - despite the fact it often gets me in trouble i.e. disapproving looks from the monks in Chiang Mai when they found out I'd absconded one evening and fraternized with the outside world!
5.) I like to talk a lot.

So I've decided to stay put for a while. I've befriended a yoga master so I'm practising yoga and meditation on a daily basis, reading virtually every book I can get my hand on about DL and also hanging out with a rather cute Tibetan guy who trekked across the Himalayas for a month to get here to escape the Chinese authorities - all in the name of research of course!

This is my kind of accessorizing!

Dirty Delhi

I never thought I'd say this about anywhere I would visit but I have to say Delhi is the worst place on earth. I think I'm in hell. I can't wait to leave.

They say that Delhi is an assult on all your senses - this actually a phrase which immediately makes me roll my eyes and urges me to contain a snort of distgust as, having read it in the LP guide, virtually every traveller I've met to date has tried to pass it off as their own opinon of the city.

Delhi doesn't just assult you though, it attacks you. It violates you. If Dehli were a man it would be the type of guy women run from. They kind of guy who uses the same underpants for a week, expects his mum to do his washing even though he's lived alone for a number of years, gobs on the floor and expects you to buy him a drink for the pleasure of experiencing all his disgusting ways. In a nutshell it's a filthy, dirty shit hole. Never ever come here. It's vile. The pollution is out of control, something I've never experienced before. As you head towards the city you can see the smog sitting virtually above the buildings. You can barely see the sky. The atmosphere is thick with dirt and yellow smog. You instantly start coughing when you arrive and your eyes sting too.

I'm really struggling to find anything positive to say about this place. Even walking up the road is a hassle. If you try and go anywhere via a tuk tuk it's stressful. First the driver pretends to know where he's going, then when he realises you don't want to go to an emporium shopping he ups the previously agreed price. Then you have to go through the whole negotiation again pulled up on the side of a busy main road, horns beeping, dirty gushing in your face. Failing that, you have the pleasure of being driven around in the dirty smog for at least an hour while the driver pretends to know where he's going. It's vile. Normally these little 'challenges' don't both me but when it's stifling hot and your eyes are stinging....let's just say I've been very close to screaming a number of times.

Travelling to Old Dehli train station in the back of a tuk tuk was yet another gloryfing experience - I actually tried to take a photo of the market we drove through but the polution is so bad the picture was specaled. VILE.

I was already feeling pretty emotinal having just said goodbye to Brooke and Kylie who I'd been travelling with for the past two months. I was gutted saying good bye to them both and had to hold back the tears. Unbeknown to me I would shortly have a perfect situation to unleash my emotions.

I nearly lost it at the tuk tuk driver when we pulled up at New Dehli train station rather than OLD Dehli train station and was told it was going to cost us double what we'd been previously told to get there. I was seriously seething about it though, in fact raging would be a better way to describe my reaction. Chris - guy I meet on the way to Agra who decided for some unknown reason that he'd like to travel around north India with me...a decision I suspect he's now regretting - bore an expression of fear as I ranted about how we were being ripped off, how I hate tuk tuk drivers and I couldn't wait to leave Delhi. Thankfully he calmed me down and therefore ensured us and our luggage being thrown out on to the street. I had to have yet another word with myself because at the end of the day we needed the driver more than he needed us and frankly for the pricely additional cost if a pound it really didn't matter. This added to the fact the tuk tuk driver has a crap job and has to endure the polutin and general madness on a daily basis. I could leave, he couldn't. So basically shut up neen!

There's light at the end of the tunnel though - I leave tonight on a train heading for Dharamsala, home of the Daili Lama. I intend to meditate, maybe go on a 10 day meditation/yoga retreat, make friends with the DL's secretary (already developed an email friendship - in my mind anyway!) and hopefully get to meet his Holiness too. Rock and roll.

One of the wonders of the world

The Taj Mahal was utterly impressive. More so than I thought. The architecture and the fact everything in its grounds is completely symmetrical was, in the flesh, awe inspiring. I literally stood and stared at it in amazement for few minutes when I first saw it. It's beautiful. Stunning. In fact I can't really find the words to justify how utterly gorgeous it is.

There was a professinal photographer lurking around so I seized the opportunity to have my picture taken on the very same bench as Diana Princess of Wales. I tried to emulate the wimsical look she did so well but sadly couldn't. It was more a cheesy tourist pose. Still I'm expecting the picture to have pride of place on my parents mantle piece!!

Any how there I was gazzing at the Taj trying to avoid the lingering starres and giggles of prepubesent Indian boys when who shoud I literally bump into but Mick Jagger. Hilar. Surprisingly he went compeletly un noticed aside from a few westerners gorping at him. His assistant got a bit jumpy when he clocked us taking pic of him which I rather enjoyed watching.

I had a bit of a celeb moment myself. It was probably one of the most funniest moments of my life. There I was standing there, doing some serious people watching when I noticed a young lad of about seven sitting with his family pointing a camera in my direction. Naturally I assumed I was in his way so I moved. Suddenly he and his family are shouting 'no, no we want take picture of you'...I was more than happy to oblige. On went my celeb esq sunnies, my wrap was thrown causually over my shoulder and I assumed pose position, taking great care to ensure my chin was dipped down. Before I knew it I was having my picture taken with the little boys sister, father, mother, then the whole family. It was hilarous. (see pic above!) I didn't have heart to ask why they wanted a photo of me - in fact I shudder to think...I told myself that they didn't look like the kind of family to collect pictures of dog like looking foreigners - the truth is often over rated!!

Saving souls in Varanasi

To be honest I didn't really have a massive expectation about Varanasi. I obviously wanted to go there, it's the mecca for Hindu's, one of the oldest cities in the world and one of the most spiritual too - the holy city of India. That said watching families cremate their loved ones on the banks of the Ganges seemed slightly strange to me. Almost vauyeristic. I didn't really know what to expect or more to the point how I'd feel about it. Not sure how I would've felt if 50 or so tourists started taking photos of my grandmothers funeral!

According to the Hindu mythology, Varanasi liberates soul from human body to the ultimate. It is the Ganga Ghats of Varanasi that complement the concept of divinity. Ghats of Ganga are perhaps the holiest spots of Varanasi. The Ganga Ghats at Varanasi are full of pilgrims who flock to the place to take a dip in the holy Ganges, which is believed to absolve one from all sins.

The whole dipping in the Ganges completely freaked me out. My sides nearly split with laughter when a guy told me he was going to bath in the Ganges as another guy he'd met previously had boasted about how he'd done it. 'LIAR' I roared at the poor unsuspecting guy. He was only telling me what he was thinking of doing poor man. Bathing in the Ganges isn't the wisest thing to do seeing as the water is sepetic but hey it wasn't as though he was about to committ murder!! I naturally took great delight in telling the wannabe bathing Ganges man that he would probably end up in hospital for many, many months if he even so much as dipped his toe in the water. He looked horrified. I inwardly applauded myself at saving a soul!!

Sun rise and sun set floating down a the Ganges in a wooden fishing boat was breath taking. Dare I say a real moment. For me watching the sun set over the Ganges was most memorable. We sailed down the Ganges as a sitar (classical Indian guitar) played classical Indian music. Very sereen and peaceful and definately out of the norm in terms of how I usually would spend a Friday night - which would normally include a large amount of vodka, a few packets of Marly's and telling someone how they should live their life and/or offering relationship advice of which I know so much about!!

Travelling through Nepal into India

Travelling down from Kathmandu to Lumbini on the boarder of Nepal and India was fabulous. I stopped off along the way at Chitwan National Park. It was amazing. Vast scenery, with a real local feel to it, like going back in time.

I went on an elephant ride and saw six wild Rhinos - very 'out of Africa' moment - fantastic. I also visited a local tribal village - Thuru - and met some of the local children. A very humbling experience. The families don't live in brick houses but huts made out of mud and ox manure - all the children wanted were pens and for me to take their photo - which they loved. These people have so little. No running water directly into their homes, electricity. On one hand you I wished I could change their situation but on the other I couldn't help thinking that sometimes you just can't change things. They are what they are and if even if you did makes changes would it necessarily make it any better?

Lumbini is the birth place of Buddha so for me was a fabulous experience and definitely a highlight. The area itself was very peaceful and there was a temple next to ruins which I popped into. As luck would have it sitting in the temple was a Buddhist Monk - BINGO. He wanted to bless me. DING, DING, DING, JACKPOT! I was in awe. Totally overwhelmed as not only had I visited the birth place of Buddha I was also blessed by a Buddhist Monk in the temple next to where Buddha was born. Just put this into context for you - for me it really doesn't get any better than that. I literally ticked a zillion boxes on my 'things I have to do before I die' list. I was elated. See pic above to see just how much!! FYI it's me and my healing hands (due to a reiki course) at the birth place of Buddha.

The journey from Lumini to Varanasi was long - over 10 hours, how nice - but the scenery more than made up for it. That and the 80's music which me, Kylie and Brooke insisted on playing on my ipod speakers (best leaving present ever!). Phil Collins singing 'you can't hurry love' rang through my ears as I lay my eyes on the Ganges for the first time! God love Phil.

Crossing over the boarder from one country to the next is always a bit of an eye opener as the atmosphere and the scenery almost changes immediately. You know as soon a you enter India. Different smells, mainly sandalwood burning, sounds - more honking of the horn and the enormous variety of colours ranging from the Saree's to the shop fronts. You also notice the stares. And I mean goorping stares from the men. It's really odd as you'd think they'd never seen a western woman before but nevertheless their jaws virtually drop to the floor when they see you and their gaze follows you for what seems like forever. Dark glasses help and the ability to shut yourself off from it. You get stared at no matter what so you have to get used to it. At least I definitely will as I intend to stay in India for a few months!!

The return of the ex

Bumping into an old friend while travelling is one thing, you often hear stories of people bumping into someone they haven't seen since school on a beach in Phi Phi. It happens. Seeing an ex boyf while you're travelling is something you'd rather didn't happen (naturally depending on the circumstances you split). However meeting a guy who's the combination of all your exes rolled into one is frankly quite scary. I had the pleasure of watching in horror as the personalities/characteristics of boyfriends past revealed themselves before me very recently.

I was actually feeling very chilled and still coming down from the sheer high of seeing the birth place of Buddha and being blessed by a Buddhist monk at the temple next to the birth place of Buddha in Lumbini, Nepal a few days earlier . I'd been meditating religiously each morning and completed stage one of my reiki course a week or so earlier while I was Kathmandu. My karma was fully in tact, my aura bright and beautiful and I was completely calm. Nothing toxic had passed my lips for weeks and my carb in take was at an all time low. I'd also had a few 'moments' as I watched the priests paying at the side of the Ganges and had also lit a floating lantern in memory of my grandmother and let it sail down the river. All clear signs that I was firmly on Happiness Highway, heading straight for the city of 'nice things will happen to you'. I was a magnet for all that's good and wholesome. And that included men. Or so I thought.

But that's just it isn't it...soon as you think you've got it sown up along comes something be it a man, boss, clingy female, bank manager to ruin your natural high. In my case it was a man. He was a combination of all my exes. There he was sitting right in front of me at a restaurant in Varanasi. Nice one Neen.

So there he was. Bold as brass. From the UK. From the regions - in this case Reading (warning bells - sorry to anyone from Reading), old but had a 'young outlook' read: immature. Dressed well: read vain, outgoing read: lout, likes to party read: drink/drug problem. Feisty read: short tempered and therefore violent verbal outbursts. Exciting read: mood swings. Family orientated read: still lives with his mum. Diverse career read: can't hold down a job. Financially fluid read: tight arse/crap with money.

Thankfully this time I didn't gladly skip down the road of looserville. Oddly enough in the last couple of months have enabled me to realise the benefits of 'nice men' and thankfully my last boyf meant I had the opportunity to walk on the path of 'nice, well adjusted man' and I've seen the light as they say. Or perhaps I should day boyf light. Maybe not. Anyway.

Mr Reading was everything I found horrifying about my romantic past and more. History can sometimes repeat itself and it's common knowledge one often seeks what one is used to no matter how horrible it was. So for the first couple of housrs I was definitely attracted to him. Then as the hours unfolded I realised that I wasn't flirting with an hilarous guy with a cheeky smile and glint in his eyes. I was actually socialising with all of my exes rolled into one. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

It was like my own personal horror film starring me and my love life. The lead character was myself. The evil character - my exes. It was hideous, horrifying but eventually quite cathartic. You see the benefits of seeing all your boyfs rolled into one person is naturally at first quite alarming. Once I got my head round the idea though I realised I was fully equipped as I'd been there, seen it, done it, got the tee, dvd, poster and book. I was armed and ready for battle.

It dawned on me as I sat opposite him gently nursing a vodka as he banged on about himself. I heard all about him, his friends, where he'd been travelling, who he liked, who he didn't. Watched as his mood change from happy and outgoing to slightly agressive and loutish with the more pints he sank. I sat back and watched him skip up to his room a few times during dinner, take over any conversation and watch his eyes glaze over when anyone talked about themselves.

Suddenly I was thinking OH MY GOD ALL OF MY NASTY EXES ARE RIGHT BEFORE ME! GET OUT, EVACUATE, DO NOT ENGAGE FURTHER, ENEMY AHEAD, DANGER, DANGER, DANGER. REMEMBER THE MUSIC SNOB, NSDMCUB, MAD MAN FROM SOUTHAMPTON, THE PHOTOGRAPHER...I won't go on...

It was a like an ephinany. It was probably how Buddha felt when he reached englighenment. How appt and surely good karma of seeing where he was born?!

So I did what any woman would do faced with this situation as she innocently drank a g&t - I got up and left!

Tibet - the roof top of the world

The day I saw 'Golden Child' starring Eddie Murphy was, to the horror of many, the day I decided I had to visit Nepal and Tibet. It looked amazing on screen. The film takes you to both countries and the amazing scenery coupled with a few choice one liners from Mr Murphy..well, it just sealed the deal! So to say I was excited when the plane touched down at Gongga airport in Tibet would be an understatement. I could harldy contain myself.

I actually decided to join a tour group to see Tibet. Usually the words 'organised' and 'group' send me running for the hills but seeing as I'm hardly au fait with Tibetean and Chinese langage - sadly as much as I like to try and kid myself I knew I wouldn't be able to get by with knowing 'hello, goodbye, thank you and where is the toilet?!! Plus the fact it's easier to travel around Tibet as part of a group - the Chinese prefer it. As it turns out the people I travelled with were fabulous. I guide, Nima and Pau Pau were great, didn't crowd us too much and did an amazing job.

Fortunately I was allocated the window seat on the left hand side of the plane which meant I had a birds eye view of the Himilayers and Mount Everest as we flew past. Before this I'd never, ever imagined I'd get excited about a mountain but low and behold there I was with my jaw on the floor doing a very good impression of an over zealous Japanese tourist with a camera as we flew past it.

Tibet is often described as the roof top of the world and for me it more than exceeded my expectations. Tibet was everything I expected and more. My head spun round for the entire time I was there. The scenery was luna, arid and breath taking. The people were so friendly and clearly resilient. Children would drop what they were doing as soon as they saw us and run up to say 'hello' and what seemed like stern stares from adults melted into beeming smiles as soon as you said 'hello' in Tibetean (tashee da lay - watch me as I hone the Tibetean language!).

The sights were something else. I'd dreamt of seeing the Palace Polata (where the Dalia Lama used to live) so when I saw it for the first time on the drive into Lhasa I got goose bumps. The contrasts throughout my trip were dramatic to say the least. One minute you'd see a 4x4 parked next to a horse and cart, a woman wearing a traditional Tibetan outfit next to a teenager in jeans and an off the shoulder tee or a monk helping a limping man cross the road. It was truly amazing and the atmostphere and given the hardship the country has suffered at the hands of the Chinese it's quite surprising the country has such a serene feel to it. Admittedly you can't help but feel the presence of the Chinese but if you choose to block it out (as I did) you get a sense of what Tibet used to be like.

That said sadly the evidence of the cultural genocide commited by the Chinese is all to apparent. For instance there used to be over 6 thousand monasteries before the 'cultural revolution' as the Chinese so eloquently refer to it. Now there are under 100. Over a million Monks and civilians were murdered, cultural buildings destroyed and since then slowly but surely the Chinese have tried to erode the Tibetan way or life. That was until they realised they were on to a money earner. But I'm not going to bore you with what I think about the Chinese in Tibet (more on that later!).

The fabled city of Lhasa was my first stop and it was utterly amazing. This was once an isolated city which is now a mixture of old and new. The palace itself had such an tranquil energy about it. Quite strange given the fact you had the Chinese guards breathing down your neck but if you blocked them out then you definitely get a better feel for the place. For me it was amazing to think the current and previous Dalia Lama's had walked the corridors. Fascinating in fact and I walked around it complete awe from start to finish.

Sadly the Chinese like to stamp their authority but sticking an ugly monument to the date of the occupation of Tibet right in front of the Palace, which everyone ignores. Worse still it's Tibetan Buddhist tradition for people to walk around a religious site clockwise so it's a massive shame the Chinese have insisted the entrance to the Palace means people have to walk around the place anti clock wise. Sadly Tibetan people aren't allowed to spend more than an house in the Palace to our lovely guide kindly suggested we walk around by ourselves to give us more time to absorb what the place had to offer.

Watching the Pilgrims and Monks go about their business at the Jokhang Temple, Sera and Drepung Monasteries was something I've never witnessed before. The Pilgrims walk for days to get to the Temple/monasteries. They then spend an enormous amount of time praying which involves raising their hand to prayer posit on, kneeling down on the floor, then reaching forward on the ground in a motion that looks very similar to breast stroke...VERY tiring!

The monks and the Sera Monasteries were something else in the sense that each afternoon they would gather in the court yard and debat. Nothing out of the ordinary there you may think. Except this was debating with a twist - they would shout at each other. If they disagreed the Monk asking the question would raise on leg and stamp it down at the other while claping at the same time. It was incredible to see hundreds of Monks shouting, stamping and claping at each other. What was also strange was while all of that was going on the place still had a really peaceful feel to it - very hard to describe.

The journey on the Friendship Highway - a spectacular road which traverses high mountain passes and crosses wide plateaus, connecting Lhasa with Kathmandu - was incredible. We travelled through Tibet’s richest farming areas, before crossing the Brahmaputra River as it wound its way down towards the Bay of Bengal many hundreds of kilometres away. In Tibet it flows at an altitude of 3939 metres above sea level, making it is the highest major river in the world - tick box!!

The people and scenery is what stood out for me the most. We drove within sight of towering peaks including Mount Everest and crossed five passes over 5,000 metres above sea level. Being that high above sea level meant the alitude sickness was pretty full on and ranged from massive pressurised, thumping head aches, to slurring my words (when I wasn't drinking!) and going to the loo the whole time which as far from ideal given the toilet situtation. The memory of trying to find a quiet spot at the foot of a mountain as goat herders and 4x4's drifted past me will stay with me forever!!

We then climbed to the Karo La (5010 metres) which is the same level as base camp at Mount Everest....not sure I'll be attempting to climb that given heady I felt there!! Still loved the hat I was wearing - see pic!!

The historic town of Gyantse, which served as the capital of a small kingdom in the 15th century was fabulous. I stood at the top of the stupar (Buddhist shrine) and gazed out over the Gyats. It was at the monastery next door that I was given the opportunity to meditate with a Tibetan Monk. He taught me the key elements of Tibetean Buddhist meditation, the mantra etc. It was so surreal. Aside from the fact I had to literally surpress my internal scream as I was so excited about the whole thing i.e. me in a temple, in front of a gaint golden buddha statu, sitting in fron of a Tibetean Monk, him teaching me (in Tibetean) how to meditate and my guide translating was more than I could take. My eyes nearly popped out of their sockets even though they were closed...nice image for you I'm sure!!

Shigatse, the second largest city in Tibet with a population of some 40,000 people was interesting. The Tashilhunpo Monastery is the traditional seat of the Panchen Lama, the most important incarnation for Tibetan Buddhists after the Dalai Lama. This totally blew me away although we were warned we had to be very careful with what we said as some of the monks are actually in cahoots with the authorities. Slightly alarming and you could spot the one's which were; the shoved past you and spent all their time on mobile phones!!

The bus ride to Shegar was incredible. In the morning we crossed the Jai Tsuo Pass with stunning views of the Himalayan peaks to the south. We then passed through the Shegar checkpoint and then cross the Tingri Plains before ascending to Lalung Leh (5050m). At this pass we had spectacular views to the east (weather permitting) of Everest (8850m), Lhotse (8516m), Makalu (8463m), Cho Oyu (8201m) and Gauri Shanker (7146m). To the west we could seeXixapangma (8013m), Langtang (7245m) and Dorje Lakpa (6980m). That’s five peaks, each over 8000 metres in height - amazing!!

The drive to the small town of Nyalam, near the border, was the most horrifying journey of my life. The road was still being built, it was on the cliff edge with no barriers and oh, did I mention the 250 metre drop to the bottom? Thankfully our bus driver was amazing. We arrived in one piece. Those behind us weren't so luck as about an hour there was a landslide...think that qualifies as a near death situ!

So all in all an amazing trip. A massive contrast from start to finish. The scenery, people are utterly amazing, inspiring and really friendly which frankly makes a massive change. Thankfully tourism has turned the country and its people into a suspicous cynical bunch.

I imagine it's extremely hard especially under the rule of the Chinese. It's actually something I found very hard to come to terms with. For instance I heard of some children, under the age of 10, who were thrown into prision for writing on a public wall....they disapeared two months ago and haven't been seen or heard from since. An elderly man gave a speech about the political situation in Tibet and has since been accused of 'separatism' and locked away. The list is endless.

The cultural ways of 50 years or so ago are still there. Just. Obviously the more people who visit Tibet, then the more likely they are to stay and the more people who are aware of the dreadful situtation the Tibeteans are going through under the iron rule of the Chinese ie. how would you like all the shop, road signs in your country to be written in another languge, the better. So go. Visit Tibet and see for yourself just how utterly, jaw droppingly gorgeous it is, the people and the overall atmosphere there. It's really quite breath taking.

Dealing with odd balls....

Doesn't matter where I go or what I do I always seem to manage to attract the odd balls. Whether I'm in London, Brighton, Phnom Penh or Lhasa the idiots who've lost their way to their village always seem to find their way to my door. The thing is that I wouldn't normally mind but recently these idiots have become quite devious and cunningly disguise themselves as reasonable people, dare I say even 'normal'.

Usually I can over look the odd strange person. Strange men I can handle, sadly because most of my exes fit into this category. It's the odd female traveller who rather worryingly turns out to resemble the strange character from single white female, who really concerns me.

I have to admit I've not come across the clingy female for quite sometime. In fact not since school. So you can imagine my surprise when I was presented with this species again when I was travelling.

At first she seemed pretty normal. Bit too over friendly perhaps but as I'm trying to stop my judgemental approach I discarded my initial thought. Note to self: always trust your instincts no matter how harsh they may seem.

At first she was great fun, liked a good laugh, on similar page to me or so it seemed. Alarm bells started to ring when she repeatedly said how alike we were....like she was looking into a mirror. Er, okay. I don't think so. She kept talking about how similar we were in attitude and outlook on life. Again, I don't think so. I would nervously laugh when she said this and tried to hide my immediate facial expression which was one of complete horror!

The all to familiar alarm bells started ringing again when she advised me on how touchy feely she was...her words not mine. She admitted her friends found it irritating which obviously begs the question of 'why continue to do it?'. It clearly hadn't occurred to her to stop though...mores the pity. She also banged on about how open she was as she had no problem with calling everyone 'darling' or 'babe'. Sorry, perhaps it's me but calling people 'darling' or 'babe' doesn't equate to being open. It just means you can't be arsed to say their names or worse still, can't remember them.

The next thing I know she's talking about going travelling with me. Now alarm bells are really ringing. I'd known her for 5 mins and she's talking about travelling with me for a few months. NOOOOOOOOOO. Again, I found myself laughing nervously and made a note to self to not mention any future plans.

Then there were the lingering stares. I'd look up from my book and she'd be staring at me. I'd catch her watching me on the bus, at dinner. It was really quite unnerving. Did I have spinach in my teeth? I'm I so odd looking at the moment that I warrant being stared at like one of the monkeys in London Zoo? No. Not at all. In fact I check my teeth meticulously after each meal and last time I looked in the mirror I wasn't looking too bad at all!

I tried to ignore it to start off with but by the end of the trip it got way too much. She really started to irritate me to the point where I couldn't even look at her. The odd squeeze of my leg, stroking my hair, trying to pick a hair off the front of my t-shirt when she could've just told me it was on there where my breast was, standing really close behind me...the list is endless...it just got really irritating to be honest. I have my personal space, please respect that thank you very much.

There was little I could do though as I was travelling with a group plus I didn't want to be horrible. I definitely didn't want to cause a scene. So I kept my mouth shut and got on with it. Don't get me wrong, she didn't ruin my trip. I just had to take a deep breath and ignore her irritating little ways for a few days. Like I said the odd balls always hide their strange ways until their feet are under the table. Then they strike. So it took me a while to see where she was really coming from. Well, 2 days. Plus I could take solace with other members of the group. So it was hardly the end of the world. Just irritating!!

By the end of the trip she was really starting to grate on my nerves. I actually caught her taking a photo of me while I sleeping. I mean really, I can't imagine anyone really wanting a record of me with my mouth open and dribbling but there you go....

Thankfully when we arrived at our last destination before we all went our separate ways. I also managed to bag a triple room with two other girls in the group. I knew this would cause trouble though. So it came as no surprise to me when she gave me the filthiest look and stropped off when I told her I was going to kip in with them. Jeeeeesus I felt like I was back at school again. If only I had the same complexion I told myself at least that would make it slightly better. But sadly no, I didn't have the school girl complexion to boot. I just had to deal with the childish outbursts of a 30 plus female who displayed slightly odd behaviour.

Since the outburst I've been able to keep my distance from her and duck the filthy looks and snide comments. That's the problem when you're travelling - if you come across a nutter you have to be very creative in terms of how you avoid them especially when you're in a small capital. You don't want cause a scene but then again at the same time you have to brace yourself for the next installment of 'how much can I annoy you today'...aren't people great?!

Toilet Traumas

This isn't the nicest thing I've had to post on my blog but I feel it's my duty to share the traumas I've been facing on a daily basis since arriving in Tibet. If you're reading this while eating then please don't. You may regret it.

I'd heard on the grapevine about the toilet situation in Asia. China had in fact been mentioned a number of times as having the worst loos on earth. I sympathised and quickly reassured myself that I didn't have to worry too much about it because I wasn't travelling to China. Of course I'd completely forgotten that Tibet is now part of the Republic of China. I soon remembered when I experienced what I can only refer to as a trauma. A trauma beyond all traumas and one I don't think I'll ever forget.

Now, I don't want to get on my high horse and maybe I am naive but one would assume that when you enter the country controlled by a 'superpower' sanitation wouldn't be a problem. Wrong.

Firstly let me get one thing straight. Tibet is an amazing country. I cannot begin to tell you how utterly amazed I have been by the sights and people; culturally it's by far the most inspiring and interesting country I've ever visited. I will save my rant on how Tibet has benefited from the Chinese taking over Tibet (it won't be long!) but you would think with the influx of tourists the government might improve the public toilet situation. Apparently not - well, it's not a money earner is it so why should they. A Chinese statue right in front of the Polata Place would benefit the people much more don't you think.

You see the public loos are open. And for those of you who haven't had the privilege of experiencing an 'open loo' let me elaborate. There is no sanitation. There is a whole in the ground. Worse that that you have to squat over a trough so you get the added benefit of seeing what everyone else is relieving themselves of. Even better there are no doors. You literally pee in front of everyone. And I mean everyone. Seeing a Westerner peeing is hilarious to most locals. Most of them don't have a tv so sadly I think this could be the next best thing judging from their hysterical laughs!!

The thing is the fact 10 or so Tibetans are laughing at you peeing isn't really a problem. You see you're too busy trying not to vomit at the stench from feces from your neighbour flowing down below you. You're also trying to avoid being stung by the huge bees flying around your ass. Gone are the days of relaxing on the loo, flicking through Heat or Glamour. Rolling my eyes at a piece of toilet paper on the floor of the loo is The Worseley or the fact the hand towels aren't quite the right shade of white in Claridges. Oh how I yearn for those days...

Now it's a military operation. Liberal application of Tiger Balm below your nostrils (so much that it's burns your skin) to try and prevent the stench from making you retch. Toilet roll already torn into pieces to avoid any dropping incidents or worse still losing your balance (could you imagine falling into the trough?). Ensuring your trousers are rolled up to avoid any back splash or even worse, the bottoms of your trousers falling into the piss around the squat. After the deed is down a quick exit, ensuring you don't slip, your trousers are done up and you're not vomiting. Breathing a sigh of relief as you exit the piss house and douse your hands with sanitiser. Welcome to my world!

Next steps....

Very, very excited about my next journey - leave Bangkok Saturday 29th September and fly directly to Kathmandu where I'll be joining a trekk/tour of a group of 15 for a month. Brooke and her sister Kylie are coming with me - should be brilliant!

The Nepal/Tibet journey is a classic route linking two of Asia’s most exotic cities ranks among the ultimate of all travel adventures. Travelling from the austere and beautiful, high Tibetan Plateau to the lush hill country and farming terraces of Nepal provides for some truly dramatic contrasts. This magnificent journey takes me within sight of towering peaks such as Mount Everest (eek!) and crosses five passes over 5,000 metres above sea level. The road from Lhasa is rugged and demanding, but it’s an adventure in itself as we'll pass through farming villages, nomad camps, ancient towns and visit monasteries with a rich religious heritage - all set in the sweeping and vast landscapes of the Roof of the World. Hurrah! Have wanted to go to Tibet since I watched 'The Golden Child' with Eddie Murphy - seriously, I'm not kidding. Will be chanting with Monks if I get the chance...that's assuming I'm not ill from the altitude...we'll be 5000 metres high and Everest is only 8k!!!


After two weeks in Tibet I then head back to Nepal for my next journey - from Kathmandu to India.

This is describes as one of the great, classic overland journeys. In Nepal we'll get a feeling that that we have taken a step back in time, as it is a country that is forever changing and yet in many ways remains the same. The people, history and culture all make profound impacts on travellers, but the country is also home to the majestic Himalaya – the highest mountains in the world. Even whilst trekking on the foothills, we encounter a mystical and almost spiritual feel about them. Crossing the border into India, we find the pace of life quickens yet the people are just as friendly and just as proud of their culture and their heritage. This short adventure gives us a taste and a feel for what is India’s heart and soul. We finish in Dehil.

I'm then heading north to meeting his Holiness the Dahli Lama - I've already been in contact with his office and have recieved a number of emails....I'm trying to arrange a meeting with him - imagine!! So excited. I already have the email addresses of two Monks so what's stopping me????

Being judgemental.....

The one thing I've noticed since I started travelling is how cynical and judgemental I am. Actually if I'm honest I'm not at all surprised. I've always known it, have been told so but I've only really realised the sheer magnitude. Much of it is probably down to fear - aren't most things? I don't want to end up in a situation I can't handle or worse still on a missing persons list. So I'm pretty cautious of most people. But then I always have been so again, nothing new there.

Most people will be able to resonate with the fact that when you live in London you harden up massively. If a stranger approaches you you suspect he's about to rape you. After six or so years living in London I once gave a guy in my parents village the most filthy look I muster after he politely said 'good morning'. It was a natural reaction. He looked horrified and scuttled off!

So what's brought about this sudden concern when before I used to rate my filthy looks on a scale of one to ten as I walked to the tube in the mornings? Throughout my travels in Thailand and especially Cambodia, I've witnessed some really compassionate acts. One's where the giver hasn't 'benefited' in any other way other than to help someone. Perhaps it's the fact the majority of the population in both countries is Buddhist which heavily focuses on compassion. People are taught to give from a very early age - in the mornings the streets are filled with monks collecting alms. People young, old, rich or poor give food to the monks. It's an old tradition and one which reminds people of the benefits of giving.

Perhaps it's being in a third (or second) world country that I've realised how unfortunate others are and how important it is to help. More to the point I've met and seen people who really do have very little in terms of material objects. They struggle to feed their families, don't have central heating, running water. All the things I take for granted yet they always greet you with a smile on their faces and can't do enough for you. It's made me realise it's much easier and takes much less energy to be nice, friendly than it is to be annoyed and angry the whole time.

So what's surprised me the most on my travels is how ridged I've been in the past and recently. Admittedly we all make judgements - it's human nature and if we didn't we'd have no way of gaging people and situations. What I've noticed is how I've had to changed my judgements based on previous stereotypes. I've found myself in situations I would never have normally been in. For example I met this guy, from Cameron. He was great. Had so much fun with him and he was totally on my level. More so than any other guy I've ever met. He introduced me to his friends (all of which were incredibly welcoming), we went to an African restaurant (I was a minority), I ate with my fingers (obviously used my hand sanitiser first!!), danced all night and talked about many different things. I had a fantastic time. It was a real eye opener especially as culturally we really are worlds apart.

In fact I've had so many eye openers along my journey I've had to battle to keep my eye balls in their sockets!! A taxi driver in Bangkok got out of his car, brought some fruit and gave the lot to me. He insisted. Maybe I looked malnourished or ill!! The man in the post office who, while I was trying to tape up my package, grabbed the tape and did it for me - he didn't speak English, I don't speak Thai. He just did it, smiled and gave it back to me. How kind.

I met a girl on a bus in Cambodia. I heard her first. She annoyed me immediately. It was early in the morning and she was banging on about crap. I was literally rolling my eyes with annoyance. Decided to avoid her. Ended up chatting to her and she was lovely. Really open, nice, honest. What you see is what you get. Perfect. Ended up hanging out with her for a few days in Phnom Penh. We had a great laugh and I'll definitely keep in touch.

With most of these situations I was initially stand offish, over cautious (ie looking them up and down suspiciously), judgemental and cynical; what do they want? What are they after? Must be something dodgy. They irritate me so there's no way I'm speaking to them and/or giving them a chance. Each time I've been pleasantly surprised. So I've decided to take the plunge and go with the flow (massive deal to a control freak) and be open minded.

I'll keep you posted on my progress!

Ripping off the band aid

When I was 'poked' on facebook by three of my ex boyfriends, I knew my decision to go travelling was definately the right one. I also had a feeling getting away from it all would give me the opportunity to really clear my head.

My love life has been....well let's just say colourful and leave it at that - some may even say eventful. Some of the characters have certainly provided much entertainment, for reasons they probably wouldn't be so proud of, over the years! Classic example is a guy I dared to invite back to my parents house for Boxing Day lunch. He ended up mainlining beer, I suspect trying to prove to my Dad he could hold his booze (he couldn't), and after one hour was slumped over the breakfast room table with a serviette in his hand trying to polish a crome pepper pot. I'm reminded of that little experince each Christmas!!

Rather unexpectedly the last couple of months have given me the chance to review the various characters I've had the pleasure of meeting over the years. Some good, some not so good, some I would cross the road to avoid. It got me thinking about how many situations I've stayed in (with guys) mainly because it's easier to stay and/or I've been in a bubble - although I've known their wholey, in fact massively wrong for me, I've carried on regardless.

Similar situation cropped up just before I left. The guy in questions was, on many levels great in my opinion. In fact I'd even go so far as to say he's the only guy I've ever really gelled with to date. Only draw back? There were many. Different point of reference, his lack of drive, pretty weak willed...just things that when you added them up it meant it could never work.

I knew this from day one but figuted that there was no harm in continuing the relationship as I was leaving. I had a 'get out of jail' card.

The thing is the more time you spend with someone inevitably the more attached you become. Before I knew it I was fully embroiled in his 'problems' of which there were many. I was of course happy to help but there comes a time when you have to just walk away. People have to help themselves and besides there's only so much you can do at the end of the day. I was completely there for him but it wasn't reciprocated. I knew this the whole time. Why did I stay? It was comfortable, easy, my friends were coupled up, we'd grown really close and it was someone to look forward to seeing after another crap day in a job which depressed me.

Leaving was hard and his reaction was surprising. It was very emotional. But I knew I had to go and above all I wanted to. There was no way I was staying though and I knew that with distance and perspective I would think differently. I wouldn't be constantly pulled back into the situation. It's hard to say no sometimes and I think if I'm honest this has been the case with many of guys I've spent time with. They were okay but to be honest witha a lot of them, I was passing time. I figured that it wasn't quite right but it was okay for the moment. Then I got attached.

Anyway, I'm a firm believer that actions speak much louder than words. So after all the talk 'I'll do this, do that' blah, I've had a few pissed up calls and one email. I'm not surprised. I'm actually relieved. It confirmed what I'd always thought. I'm just glad I took myself out of the situation, got some perspective.

So when he last called and spoke about himself for the first 10 minutes before asking me how I was I didn't hesitate to pretend it was a bad line and end the call. So when I arrived back in Thailand, having been in Cambodia for a month and met a lovely bloke in that time, and switched on my phone only to receive a text message from him I didn't respond. I just smiled and deleted the message, along with his number.

Incidentally I deleted all the pokes long before - some band aids are much easier to rip off than others!!

Angkor Wat?

I wasn't too sure what to expect of Angkor Wat. I'd heard varying reports from other travellers in terms of how long to spend there; from a morning, to two days to a week so it was pretty hard to work out exactly how much time to spend there.

I knew a little bit about it. It's one of the seven wonders of the world so obviously a must-see. The temples of Angkor, capital of Cambodia's ancient Khmer empire, is a combination of awesome architecture and spiritual devotion. Each Cambodian god-king strove to better their ancestors in size, scale and symmetry which resulted in the world's largest religious building - Angkor Wat and one of thee world's strangest - the Bayon.

I think the Angkorian period spanned for more than 600 years or so...from AD 802 to 1432. So it's pretty amazing these temples are still standing (in various states) considering the years of terror, poverty and war Cambodia has suffered. At it's height the empire stretched from Burma to Vietnam, a city that boasted a population of one million when London was a 'tiny' town of 50,000.

Today the temples are a point of pilgrimage for all Cambodians - it was amazing to see the sheer number of locals sitting around the moat of Angkor Wat, praying at various enormous Buddha statues around the temples. Now I can appreciate architecture and I like nothing more than embracing a history and culture but I'm not one for staring at engravings for hours on end. I like to get in there, appreciate, take it all in then leave. Thankfully Brooke and Brett were of the same opinion so we decided on spending a day there.

We decided to watch the sun rise over Angkor Wat. What a way to spend a Monday morning. The fact I wasn't spending another Monday morning dragging myself (kicking and screaming) to work, to deal with pressing issues like how much coverage can we generate on another bottle of shampoo or even better, a review on a previous campaign, or a personal favorite another ridiculous demand from a client such as 'can you find out how much it will cost for Kylie Minogue to perform at our party...the budget is 10k'. So waking up at 430am after 3 hrs sleep was a very small price to pay.

Rater, friend of Mr Banana and a fellow tuk tuk driver was our man for the day. We boomed around (literally) from temple to temple and timed each visit to perfection. It wasn't too busy. The sun rise over Angkor Wat was amazing. The temple itself was incredible. I literally stood there in awe as the sun rose, the temple reflecting the lake before it and a guy constantly asking if I wanted a coffee (back to reality). I like coffee plus I was knackered to I welcomed his offer!!

Ta Prohm was next. It's a fabulous ruin and the original Tomb Raider temple. It was definitely the most atmospheric ruin at Angkor and has been left to be swallowed by the jungle. It's stunning. The temple is cloaked in shadows, its crumbling walls and towers a embraced by various roots. A local man who was one of the caretakers of the temple showed us around. One of the most jaw dropping moments for me was when he took us into a small chamber and started thumped repeatedly on the left hand side of his chest. It echoed. He then thumped other areas of his chest and there was no echo at all. It was amazing. He said it had been designed purposefully so that it only echoed when you thumped your heart area, nowhere else.

Other highlights included the Terrace of Elephants and one of my personal favs The Bayon which boasts over 200 giant faces with enigmatic smiles. It was fabulous and truly beautiful in the shadows of the afternoon. Preah Khan was great in terms of its sheer size. Watching the sun st over Phnom Bakheng with a million other Chinese and Korean tourists was pretty amusing too. I also managed to overcome my fear of heights (slightly) and climbed to the top of the temple. Frankly it was mainly because I'd hiked up the side of a mountain to get the top, there was no way having got there I was going to miss out on the view because of a few narrow and very steep steps!! Thankfully I didn't freeze on the way down - big pat on the back for that one!!

What kind of man....the categories

Over the past couple of months I've been fortunate to witness some fantastic sights. Some have been appreciated, some haven't. Many of them jaw dropping....some for the wrong reasons. One of the many sights I've become only to familiar with in Thailand and to a certain extent in Cambodia, is the sheer number of Western men with South East Asian women.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a firm believer of each to their own. Everyone has there own tastes and that's the way it should be - something for everyone. I don't have a problem with that. It's just I can't help but wonder what it's all about. You shouldn't judge on looks alone but I have to admit it really makes my skin crawl when you see a 65 plus, overweight man with mottled skin, a gold chain and comb over wich a 20 year-old size 0 girl.

The sex trade in Thailand is no big secret. It's rife. Many of the women are prostitutes, forced into the sex trade to feed their families and or seek a better lifestyle as there own is too unbearable. Some simply prefer to earn a living this way. One guy I was with was told this girl fancied him, he was naturally flattered until he was told he'd have to pay the princely sum of 1,000 bhat...that's about a tenner for her time. On the other hand some women aren't prostitutes as such - they are just seeking a lifestyle which could only be achieved with a 'wealthy' Western man.

So you could say that they offer a service which there is a market for. It's fair and square and there's nothing wrong with it. Prostitution is probably the oldest profession in the world. Of course there isn't anything wrong with it as such but then again if it was so great we'd all be encouraging our daughters, sisters, friends to graduate into the profession. Most of the men I know are more than fine with it until you ask them if they'd like their sister/daughter/neice to experince the same and they soon start stuttering.

The thing is that personally I can't help but feel pity for the tiny, young Thai woman who is sitting across from a man old enough to be her grandfather and who has the face only a mother could love. Add to the fact she's drinking water so is stone cold sober. Well, you can't really help but feel pity.

Obviously not all South East Asian women with Western men are prostitutes. Perhaps there is an agreement of sorts. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours - sorry, couldn't resist!

We're all familiar with Thai brides, groups of guys who head to Thailand for a sex fest, the loners who are really just seeking some company, preferably from a pretty woman who won't give them any back chat. I know a few men who'd like the sound of that!! And if you have to part with 15 quid along they way then...well, I'm sure it's justified by the fact it's the equivalent to buying a a few drinks in the pub (depending on where you drink) and you're guaranteed she puts out at the end of it! Some of course are genuinely in love and that's fantastic.

A few evenings have been spent with various travellers I've met along the way, debating the whole western man with South East Asian women scenario. Is it fair on the women? Is it unfair on the men? Who's the loser - if you want to put it like that. Are there particular types of men who and can you put them into categories. Of course! There have been many differences of opinion as I'm sure you can imagine. In general though most think it's far from ideal given the fact many of the women wouldn't be with the guys if she had a choice. The thing is we call have choices. It's just that often we don't like the choices we have.

Now I'm not naive enough to think I can change things. However if I'm constantly being confronted with a huge number of Western men with South East Asian woman then I'm going to have to make sense of it some how. The easiest way for me is with some humour. So I've devised four key categories. These have been discussed at length with various friends (male and female) and refined along the way. And if I do say so myself, I think they're pretty spot on!

Category 1: the divorcee:

A personal favorite of mine in terms of value - they get really uncomfortable if you stare at them which of course I love to do...if nothing else I'm puzzled as to why they think combing over two strands of hair hides their bald head.

This species is easily identifyable, usually with dyed auburn coloured hair to hide the grey hair when introduced to the woman's village family. 8 out of 10 sport a comb over 'hair style' which usual amounts to two or three strands of hair, geled and combed over the skull. Hides a multitude of sins don't you know!!

Normally dressed from head to toe in one colour (either light blue of beige), usually cotton short sleeved shirt and trousers with alarming footwear. Being a shoe lover, the footwear bothers me the most. It can range from black or brown leather slip-ons or sandals....with matching socks.

The divorcee is tired of women from his country and/or 20 years younger than him. He thinks women within this age range expect to much, they are too opinionated. Frankly too much like hard work. He's after someone who's attractive, who will look after him, won't question his tactics and sexula prowness (assuming he has any) in bed and generally will agree with what he says...this is mainly due to the language barrier as she can't really understand what he's saying or if she does, she doesn't have the vocab to reply!

The bonus for the South East Western woman is that he offers a nice lifestyle and she doesn't have to engage in too much conversation. A simple nod or yes will suffice.

Category 2: In love:

Young or old it can happen to anyone if you're lucky. You can spot it a mile off and it's lovely to see.

Category 3: The Loaner:

This guy rarely pulls women in his home town. He needs to go abroad and pay for it to get a look in with a pretty girl. He's in awe of his mates who get to go home with attractive women so naturally enjoys the kudos of 'pulling' a good looking girl abroad.

The girl usually look a bit pained or bored as they listen to him waffle on about himself. The Loaner usually wears a logo tee with light faded jeans and trainer. He tends to walk the streets hand in hand with said woman with a massive grin on his face. Fair enough!

Category 4: The Hedonist:

Basically a bit of sex pest. No age or looks category here - men who fall into this category are out to satisfy as many of the sexual perverse fantasies as possible. Have been known to get quite violent. Tend to treat the woman with contempt or on the flip side are just thankful someone has finally allowed them to act out their greatest and potentially sickest fantasy.

Visiting the orphans in Phnom Penh

I heard about The New Cambodian Children's Life Association in Phnom Penh from two other travellers I met in Sihnoukville. They recommended it as they had also visited it a few days earlier and said it was really well run, the children were happy plus it was a privately funded orphanage which doesn't tend to get the same amount of exposure as the govt run organisations.

The NCCL provides poor and orphaned children with a safe place to live. They receive food, clothes, medicine and an education. The majority of funding comes from a non-profit Veiyo Tonie restaurant owned by Neth as his wife. I think they set it up 3 or 4 years ago.

I called up before to ask if it was OK to pop in, see the children etc. We arrived at the restaurant on the river front in Phnom Penh and we walked round the corner by the restaurant manager, Lay, to where the orphanage.

Around 20 or so children live at the orphanage which is essentially a large town house. It's cool and airy, the walls are bright and colourful with various paintings from the children and photos of trips to the country side, water parks etc. Basically it wasn't at all how I'd imagined it - it wasn't dark, gloomy, dirty and definitely didn't have a air of sadness as I'd originally thought.

After being shown around I then felt my hand being tugged and I looked down to see a little girl (Sarisha) of about 8 or 9 grabbing my hand and leading me to the picture board. In between her broken English and my pigeon Khmer she pointed as the pics of her and showed me around the orphanage and to her room which she shared with the other 6 girls at the orphanage.

The girls, ranging from 7-14, were really pleased to see Brooke and I and were only too happy to involve us in some of their games. I was pretty crap - try throwing a ball in the air and while it's in mid air picking up 5 pens from the floor - they round it hilarious and showed pride in demonstrating to me exactly how it should be done!

One of the girls had some nail varnish so I stuck to what I knew best and decided to share the love of painting nails. Definitely a bonding experience - I knew the hours and hours spent having mani's and pedi's would eventually pay off in a good way!

It seems it doesn't matter which nationality you speak too. At the end of the day children are children. So it was quite funny when Brett walked in to the girls room to see what all the noise was about. The girls found it hilarious when Brooke and I told him to get out and made 'er' noises as he was a boy - they loved it and all joined in esp when another boy came into the room with him! Some things are definitely universal!

It's funny how you can see immediately the pecking order. One leads, the other is a joker etc and naturally one has the mickey taken out of the them a bit more than the others.

One girl in particular was really quite and very shy. The others gently mocked her when we asked her name mainly I think because she was really shy. She sat in the corner with her face covered for the first 15 mins we were there. She didn't want to get involved in any of the games we played or chat - in fact she just pottered around us quietly as we spoke to the other girls. I later learnt that both her parents had passed away from an aids related disease and she'd lost her brother and sister to landmines. Back at the restaurant they have mini biogs on each child with some quotes from them. On her biog she said how much she liked living at the orphanage as she has regular meals and she's pleased as the others let her have her quiet time to herself. Pretty sobering.

Most the children there had either lost their parents to an Aids related disease or a landmine or perhaps worse (if you want to look at it that way) their parents just simply couldn't afford to look after them anymore. I'm struggling to work out which would have the most detrimental effect on a child. I mean obviously both situs are horrendous for anyone let alone a young child. To lose your parents is one thing but to have to leave them because they can't afford to feed or cloth you....that must be heart rendering too. Knowing they're out there but not being able to live with them. Luckily for me it's unimaginable. It's dreadful to think someone so young has to suffer to much. I imagine it totally robs them of any childhood as we would know it.

What I really liked about the orphanage is that it completely changed my opinion of them. I initially thought it would be a place of sadness, dark, gloomy. It was quite the reverse and most importantly the children seemed really happy and content.

All the proceeds from the restaurant go to funding the orphanage. All donations in the form of clothes, vegetables and rice are really welcome. Considering $25 will buy you a massive bag of high quality rice, which feeds the children for 2 weeks, it's incredible 12 quid (that's what I would usually pay for for 2 cocktails) can help so much.

The highlight of the children's week is that each Saturday evening they get to dress up and perform a traditional Khmer dance - I'm heading back to Phnom Penh to catch a flight back to Bangers before I fly to Kathmandu - I'm under strict instructions from the children to come along. To be honest I can't think of a better way to spend my Saturday evening!